I saw your post from April, and wanted to tell you that I went through something very similar. On June 18th, 2012, I awoke to find Jim, my wonderful partner of 11 years, still sitting at his desk when he should have left for work hours before. To my horror, he had died that morning. Like you, I desperately tried to resuscitate him for what seemed hours until the paramedics arrived, but it was too late...he had been dead for hours. I still close my eyes and relive that horror, but it has been over 6 months now, and things are beginning to get easier. I think I'm beginning to get over the trauma and stress of finding him like that--or at least I'm becoming better at suppressing it. I'm just now starting to process what actually happened...that my wonderful man is gone. Unfortunately, most of his family has turned their backs on me, but I still have our son to look-out for (Jim was DAD), and he has been a real source of strength and hope for me. Anyhow, your post really touched me, and I just wanted to write and find-out how you are doing these days. Please let me know if you are able. Hang in there.
Dear Brian,I lost my partner on Feb. 9th almost 3 months ago. We were together a little over 30 years. He was the love of my life and I miss him terribly. He also passed away at home. I know what you are going through believe me. I am here whenever you need to reach out. Take care.
Welcome Brian! By seeking out this community is a positive start. For me, it has been not only a great help but a place where I could feel free to voice my thoughts and feelings. Let me know how and when I can help. You are not alone.