carol, thank you for your response....i lost Robby 1yr, 1 month ago, and i feel the same as i did then...I have been to a compassionate friends meeting before, but i think i get more from legacy...my faith has been rattled alot so i have been struggling with that also, i know a very good pastor, and he is there when i am ready to talk he said...i guess i need to work through the anger, and pain within myself before i can find my way back to God...again, thank you, and take care tammy