Cheryl,
Please accept my absolute condolences. I lost my husband this past Dec. 13th from Pancreatic cancer. We had 6mos and 17 days together after his diagnosis. I was laid off of my job on Sept. 19th which was a blessing to me and gave me more time with my love of my life. We were married 36 yrs, have 3 children and 8 grandchildren. I am telling you all of this because I am heartbroken for your situation. I KNOW why my husband passed. You may never know why. I want you to know that I am going to put you on our prayer list at Church that you may eventually find peace in your life and the strength to move on. I will also pray for your husband..that he is at peace. God Bless you. My heartfelt sympathy.

Cheryl, I am so sorry to hear that you have to go through this. Unfortunately, our loved ones can be so good at hiding the underlying symptoms, that we don't detect or treat the problem until it's too late. I would encourage you to seek out others who are in a similiar situation. I've made a few good friends on myspace that have been thru something like you. It's kind of unfathomable, but you can come out of this okay. Life won't be the same, but you can do it and it wont' be easy. Don't be afraid to rely on friends and loved ones. I lost my wife of 20 years to cancer and an left behind with 6 children age 19 and under. I don't understand and never will. It really hurts and I know you do too. I just want you to know that there is someone who cares about you and what you are going through. Don't be afraid to seek help, it can really make a difference.

Steve