Cheryl Zuvlea
  • Female
  • Camano Island, wa
  • United States
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At 1:18pm on July 2, 2010, Gerry Fiden said…
It was Gods call..not you sisters, and to some degree,maybe more than we realize it was her son's.
I hope this has helped you somewhat.
At 10:38am on July 2, 2010, Gerry Fiden said…
Cheryl,
Yes we all grieve differently. I was just like your sister at times. She may have feelings of guilt. That is a normal emotion when we lose a child. I still and probably will always have days when I feel like that.
Get the book EMBRACED BY THE LIGHT by Betty Eadie. It may help. I don't think I would suggest it to her. Read it yourself and just see if it helps,when she is ready she will know and perhaps pick it up. It helped me to understand a little bit better.

take care, and write anytime.
Gerry
At 9:47am on July 2, 2010, Gerry Fiden said…
That is the only thing I hold onto..knowing that each day brings me one day closer to being with my son. He was killed by a drunk driver on his way to work at 7:22 in the morning,he was on his motorcycle. A mothers worst nighmare is getting a call that her has been killed. Remember, your sisters emotions from here on will be like waves, one moment calmand the next crashing. This is normal...she is not broken...she is grieving.
Suggest this site,when she is ready...we are all here for her.
God be with you,
Gerry
At 10:12pm on July 1, 2010, Gerry Fiden said…
Dear Cheryl,
So sorry to hear about your nephew. Having lost my son and only child just barely 10 months ago,I know what your sister is going through.
You can not do or say anything to make her pain any less or better. Nor should you try to understand what she is feeling,just be there for her. All any of us who lost a child want is an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on. There are times she will need and want to talk about her son and more ofter times she will just need to cry. Just be there to listen. We want their memories to be kept alive in the hearts of those who
loved and knew them, so let her take the lead. Never think or tell her she will be ok soon,never tell her to move on,never relate loosing her child to losing a parent or a spouse....it is not the same.She has lost part of herself. Let her know how much you loved him and that ypu miss him.
My prayers go out to you and your family,
God be with you
Gerry
 
 
 

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