Cindy I'm so sorry that I am writing a comment to you. It feels unfair that you were about to be married this month and through no fault of you or your fiancée that will not happen. I have no answer for you as to how you should cope. Grieving is a process and it takes time. It's normal to cry and scream; it is something I'm familiar with doing.  I've even heard that hitting a punch bag is good to help get out the anger. With close people in your life they may be helpful to speak with. I can understand the pain of losing someone you love; I've lost many people I love. If it's possible you may want to see a therapist or attend a bereavement group. If you want to talk then click on my name and I may be able to talk with you a bit. In the meantime take care of yourself by eating healthy and resting when you can. With Love, Barbara