Cindy, speaking with whoever can listen is important. I'm so sorry that your fiancée was as ill as he was and that you didn't have enough time together. I don't know if you joined a support group for your particular loss on this grief site. I belong to one for the loss of my child. My son Joe was taken from everyone by a drunk driver who's case was dismissed by the court. There is no justice in the world for victims.
Take good care of yourself and let us know how you are doing. Send a message whenever you want.
Cindy I'm so sorry that I am writing a comment to you. It feels unfair that you were about to be married this month and through no fault of you or your fiancée that will not happen. I have no answer for you as to how you should cope. Grieving is a process and it takes time. It's normal to cry and scream; it is something I'm familiar with doing. I've even heard that hitting a punch bag is good to help get out the anger. With close people in your life they may be helpful to speak with. I can understand the pain of losing someone you love; I've lost many people I love. If it's possible you may want to see a therapist or attend a bereavement group. If you want to talk then click on my name and I may be able to talk with you a bit. In the meantime take care of yourself by eating healthy and resting when you can. With Love, Barbara