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Hi Colleen, I hope you are doing better. I am ok, just dreading the holidays like everyone else. I'm trying to not get myself so worked up about it, but it's hard not to. I know we will all get through all of this, and it will just take as long as it takes. I just get frustrated when I have a set back. I don't like feeling like I'm doing better only to be ambushed by it all over again. It is really draining sometimes. We will all get through this together. I just have to remember to reach out that has been hard for me. I hope you are seeking support, it really does help. Hugs to you and I am here for you.
Yes I went back to work 2 weeks after Mike died. We worked for the same company, but I could not work for the same store he did because he was the General Manager and I am a deli manager so we worked in 2 different locations. I had to go back to work to keep my benefits and vacation. It as been very hard for me to work, but I just try and stay focused when I am working--I go to work at 4 AM right now..I write my own schedule and they would prefer me in at 7 or 8 AM, but if I go in early I am exhausted when I get out of work and its easier for me to sleep. I have many hard times at work that I end up in the bathroom or walking around alone until I can compose myself. Sometimes I stay at work l2 to 13 hours..its sometimes better. I have such a hard time coming home from work. I always called Mike and chatted with him about dinner ..if I was cooking or he was going to cook (his idea of cooking was which restaurant )we used to eat out 2-3 times a week. . Mike and I would joke also about death, but like you said it was a joke...I would explain to him he better not leave me here...he said he would not ..he was going to outlive all his bothers and sisters...I was ok with that just don't leave me alone. He would make jokes to me that he was going to spoil me so no other man would make me happy..He did a great job. I was the happiest I have ever been in my life. I can't imagine this life as it is now. I try not to think of tomorrow because I can't. I know Mike would not want me this unhappy, but that is where I am in life...
thank you so much for yur response. i am not sure i told you about my husband he also became tired his legs hurt him i thought because he gained weight the pounds he put on was to much for his body to handle he also was on medication for mytro prolapse which is high blood pressure. i fee we are in the same boat both similar stories. please feel free to write me when you feel down and out. i am here even though i do not know you my heart goes out to you.keep up the faith thank god for grandchildren to keep us going
i do not remember writing how george passed he was complaing of stomach ache and coughing he went to the computer and i went to bed all of sudden i hear a boom i know george get charley horses and he go to the floor because it hurts so much i called to him if he is ok i did not hear an answer so i went to the computer room and there he was on the floor i heard his last breath they tried to give him cpr i called the ambulance at 1157 they came worked on him put oxygen by the time i got to the hospital my youngest son came out and then i knew he had passed. i went to the hospital to get the exact time he arrived at the hospital at 12:43 and passed 12:46 that was a day i would never forget my best friend ever
thank you for your support. i am so sorry about your loss i know how it is. i still cry and cannot sleep at night some times i am ok the only thing i have is the good memories of my husband and i for almost 35 years. my family is there for me always the are always checking up on me too see how i am doing. it seems something has to happen for people to get to talk to you expecially when you did not get along before this death happened i have 3 grandchildren ages 9 and twins age 3 3/14/10 they did not forget about pop pop its funny that the twins know who pop pop was. they think he is asleep when i show them a picture they say pop pop is sleeping i just let it as they think about 2 weeks ago on of the boys came out of bedroom wearing georges tie i almost burst into tears he put it around his neck. coleen please try to take it easy i went to a therapist and i just let everything out. i cried and was very angry and i am still i do not need anybody trying to be my friend when that were not when my husband was around. again my heart goes out to you and your family. please keep in touch also this grieving support is the best because you hear about others grieving and you say gee mine is not as bad as others but you still grieve
Thank you for understanding and I am sorry to hear of your loss as well. I just think that 57 is too young to die. My brother died a few years ago, also at 57 y/o. Gary was there for me then as my strong shoulder to lean on. How heartbreaking to know that we won't have the retirement life that he had worked for and that he had just started.
I am so sorry for your loss. I am glad that you have found this site. Here you can say anything you wish and no one will criticize you.Please know that you are among friends here.
I lost my Larry on August 9, 2009. We were married for 38 years. He was also 57 when he passed. He passed suddenly and I find that hard to accept. I am beginning to have some good days but still have some really crappy ones. Go at your own pace, don't do anything sudden unless you absolutely have to.
I know what you are saying that it is worse that you could have ever imagined. The loneliness I find is the worst.
If you just want to get something off your chest this is the right place...we all understand.
Take care Yvonne