I had cut his name in card stock letters and stickie glued it across my heart. When I had a spray tan later that morning, it left his name as a tattoo. I put on my violet dress that he loved and took a selfie and sent it to him. He said "sexy girl". We were excited because we were going to have a great big boring Monday night dinner. I spent the rest of the day thinking about how much we loved each other, looking forward to him coming home after work. A little while later he sent me the very… Continue

My sweetie and I loved each other very much. We were together for 5 years and we tried strived to love unconditionally. We didn't want to be traditional with marriage, we didn't want to be bound by legalities. We wanted to be free to love each other from our own free will. Now, I find that the obituary that his mother will issue will refer to me as "friend" - no describing beloved, sweetheart, long-time, loving, soulmate, special; just friend. I release my attachment to this by repeatedly… Continue

It's so raw. I keep thinking im strong and of course I am. It's just that he was my life and to put it together without him almost feels wrong. We were so in love with each other. It will just take time. I'm writing down something to do each day, next day and future day. But I did forget to write the next 3 days. I think I will try that.

Alex was my life and I was his. He was driving on the way home from work, pulled over to the side of the road and the police said he looked like he was sleeping. People say I'm lucky because I have daily pictures and daily "I love you" but they are all gone and stopped now. I relay his videos to me...the one where he asks "where's my sweetie" and another where he says "I miss you". Every restaurant we went to we would hold hands across the table and talk until the food arrived. Five years of… Continue