okay.. it's been awhile since I've been on here.  I still can't believe it's already been a year and 37 days.. I feel like all I'm doing is watching life .. I do what everyone expects but thats not really living.  I can hear my dad asking me " what do you want mama ?"  and telling me not to worry about anyone else.  Baseball season is over... didn't really watch a lot of games during the season ( I had a hard time ) Football season is here... or as my daddy would say COWBOY…

It's really weird that I start a new job tomorrow and my daddy is not here to tell me that everything will be fine. And that there is no reason to be nervous.  After my dad passed , all i could think about was how i needed to have a job. parts of me were scared because I didn't thnk I could handle my grief plus a new job. I know now that my daddy was  helping me and letting me know that my job would come when I was ready.  So i'm nervous but i know that i always have my daddy guiding…

Ok.. Its 6 months today that my daddy has been gone.. I'm half way through the first year and it still hurts. I try to keep busy, but there are days when I just want to yell and scream and cry.  My sister got married last month  and I felt happy for her and so sad that my dad wasn't there to dance and laugh with us. There were songs that i normally would have got up to dance with my daddy , but instead i either just sat down or just even danced with my sister.

Baseball season is here…

Ok .. I went to sleep late last nite and I had been thinking about my dad for the past couple of days. One thing that we used to do was challenge each other in a game of bejeweled.See who got the highest score and we would tease each other about who was the master. =)

I hadn't played in awhile and i just recently started playing a lot more . So this morning I woke up in the early morning . It was still dark out,and I swore that I saw someone at the computer playing bejeweled. I…