Hi Donita - So sorry about your husband. Boy can I relate to what you said about friends. My husband died on December 1st after being in ICU 8 days. Lots of emails & calls when he was in the hospital but since the service 3 wks ago only 1 friend has kept in touch. No more emails from people who used to email me regularly. No phone calls. No one asking if I want to get together. (i'm a teacher and I'm off for xmas) What does it take to send a quick email? I don't get it. Hang in there. Some of us are in the same - or similar - boat. We'll be here for you.
Hi Donita. I too lost my best friend, and love of my life, on Dec 16 this year (2 weeks ago). Through all the tears, I am trying to find the Christmas spirit but it isn't happening. I am in a fog. He had been fighting leukemia for 4 years (it was in remission) but the meds that he had been taking eventually caused his lungs to fail. I watched , over a 2 month period, this wonderful man slip away from me. It has been the hardest time of my life. The service is tomorrow.
What a sweet picture of the two of you.I wish I could figure out how to download pictures. Oh will, I'll work on that.
As it has only been two weeks since Bryan passed away this will be a most difficult Christmas. I hope you have someone to spend the day with. I know last year I wanted to forego the holidays but my kids talked me into joining them for the day and it did help. Plus I still have my 92 year old mother who is very active and helpful.
Sites such as this one will help you also. Even though you can't converse in person you can still express your feelings. And all of us on this site have experienced what you are going through. Like I stated, I need this support now more than ever. I know time heals, and I do feel like I'm healing, but until I die I will think of Tom.
I have read there are stages of grief. Yours is still so new and so raw you may not believe you will feel better. You are still young enough to have life. I'm in the anger mode. Yes, I'm sad but I'm also angry - I'm angry at people who still have their spouses and complain about them, I'm angry at God for taking Tom, and I'm angry at Tom for leaving me. There have been many times when I've had to tackle things that he would do, home repairs, car repairs, etc. But I know this will pass.
Hang in there Donita. I like to think Tom is "up there", my personal guardian angel. Perhaps he's sitting right now welcoming Bryan to Heaven.
I am so sorry for your loss. From your picture you look like a very loving and happy couple. It just isn't fair, is it? I know dying is part of life but it is so hard to accept.
I lost my Tom June 24, 2008 so it has been a while but I swear, each day get harder. I have spent the last months adjusting and living. I"ve been so busy doing what I should do that now it seems the grieving is just starting. I keep telling myself he is the lucky one, no more pain and I still believe that but what about my pain.
I do have two children, both adults. But their loss is different than mine and yours. We have lost our lifemates.
I found going back to work most helpful. I am fortunate to work w/a great group of people and my boss is so supportive. She was widowed in her 30s w/seven children under the age of 13. So she has been a great inspiration. But I spent over 44 years w/Tom. We married when I was 18 and he was 21. And after the kids grew up and left home is when we really started living.
We both have memories to last a lifetime and I know that is a good thing but what I wouldn't give for one more afternoon w/Tom.
Please feel free to respond. I too need someone to talk to who has experienced the same thing as I have. I feel your pain and lonliness. Perhaps we can help each other.