You are not rambling you are sharing your feelings with others, so we can feel normal in our grief process. We need to share..It is good to see others are experiencing the same feelings we are.. So many things changed in my life, I will never be the same..I had to get off this site for awhile as I was crying all the time..it is hard to have so many parents loose their children....I went to a church that had a "GRIEF SHARE" program. it was awsome..I really related to this...and it has helped me ..everyone must find their niche..that extra "help" to continue on this process called grief..This site was a GOD send to me..and I am glad this was here for me
Please do not feel like you are rambling, I too hope he made it to heaven, I pray everyday hoping he did nothing wrong to prevent this from happening...I can drive myself insane worrying still about him. I watch movies and see him in the character and cry my eyes out, I buy the movie and watch over and over..I had him cremated and agonize over where to put his ashes,especially once they are gone I cannot retrieve them..Now, who is rambling
I am sorry Heidi you had to come to this members only grief place...it does help getting out all our emotions, we all cry for them, missing them so much..we relive the journeys through their short lives, wishing we spent more time with them, didn't nag them as much, loved them more then we did...but who knew their life was going to be gone??
I had to retrieve a picture my daughter wanted and it took me 3 days to recover and I put the pictures in a box in the closet, I can't put them back where they belong.. This was my 4th Christmas without him ..someone else suggested they were going to put some decorations up ( they lost a son also) as he always liked to decorate. It got me thinking about a safety pin beaded tree he bought me from a lady who made them and I dug through my Christmas stuff till I found that tree and that was my only decoration this year!! one day at a time....
I still can't eat and drink certain items, I just lost the desire.. There is still so much I want to teach him ..it doesnt seem fair as I wasn't done with my job yet...
this place is a godsend for me .knowing others are feeling the same emotions, the same pain as outsiders can't comprehend..I am just sorry there are so many of us!! It seems like every family has a tragic
situation going on.
will we ever get past this?? I don't think so..