Jane, I am so sorry for your loss. I know what you mean about breaking down. I do it at least a few times a day. It has been 5 weeks today, my sister inlaw is going to loose the house they lived in the one he died in. I just cant imagine that house having other people in it. It makes me sick I kinda loose my breath everytime I think of him as gone. I have been to the cemetery and honestly I wanted to dig him up and hold him. Crazy right? but that was a thought i had standing there looking at the mess yes a mess I live in Philly and we have had so much bad weather since the funeral. His birthday was the 15th of this month he would have been 35. I miss him ..

Ann Marie

Thanks so much Jane for replying. My heart goes out to you and your circumstance. I understand how you can be angry because I have those days too and I don't see an end to my grieving at this point either. My brother had just starting getting back with his ex wife when this happened. She was in the canoe and had the life jacket because she couldn't swim. My question was when someone rescued her (because he insisted) then why did she not give him the life jacket to cling to? He was a powerful swimmer but he had major neck surgery and back surgery a few years earlier but still lived in a lot of pain from degenerative disc. He had to retire from working because he could no longer do the job without the possibility of getting hurt. My anger is mainly at her because 2 days after he died, she put his storage shed in her name, sold his travel trailor and hid any belongings of his that was worth any money. We never did get any of his belongings. This after he died for her!! I just cannot comprehend that to save my life. At least my neice did get his ashes but his Harley and other things have yet to be found. My sisters and I did not push it for fear we would wind up in jail. At any rate, what goes around comes around and I'm quite sure God will take care of punishing her. We are suppose to pray for those that have done us wrong and afterall hate won't bring my brother back. In our situation, there's just no closure because we weren't able to say goodbye. I will certainly pray for you and I'm glad you have children to help you get through those days.