community in such a way...I shall do the same with my Mom's clothing and some household items- keeping a few things out of both for sentiment reasons...so happy to learn that one of the Church;s made an impression ( and brownies are plus:) keep me posted please and also know that you are in my prayers and I am sending you good vibes...the kittens are doing great...Roux has sight in one eye, but Gumbo does not, but her eyes are back under the lids now ( I can not recall if I mention this or not- guess the book nows what it was talking about) so she will not have to have them removed- she is blind but gets around great ...hope work keeps you busy,but not stressed...huge hugs, Linda  

oh' and I bet it was difficult to view all the smoke stained walls...

hi Jennifer,   scrapes of paper with their writting on it- yes, I TOTALLY understand...since we have been working on getting the rental place in order- I haven't been focusing on my Mom's home as much...but when I came across something I save it to think about later when I will have to go through everything oneday...with my dadwhen I came across something there was no question- I'm keeping it. because I lost so much of his things and mine from childhood from hurricane Katrina- a friend of mine will say what are you going to do with a lamp from the 70's that doesn;t work and I'm like it was my Dad's, it was part of my life when both my parents were alive and I know no worries about life....I probably have hoarding issues or deep pyschological one's -lol...but, I just can not bear to part...another thing is I have two sliver bracelets I wear and when I type they hit the keyboard, my Mom's medical alert braclet would do the same and now when I hear it I just think she should be there, yet I know it's me and that she isn't...sigh... our Pastor dropped off a book to me today (the second in a series on grieving)...this one talks about the physical aspects- how after a while (say a few months) the shock wears off and it sinks in that , that person is not coming back and you are tired all over again - I think I have been there for a few weeks now...and that you also will have periods of forgettfullness ( wow, I totally screwed that words up- sorry)...and yes, loss of words...commuination skills sometimes out of the window...however,I too sometimes  make up a responce on the spot...just to statisfy and /or end the question/converstaion...UFF DA!   I know my father would have loved for me to have donated his things ( as I would have had they not become to moldly and loated after the hurricane) as he often donated things to the vets or homeless...go woth your gut- you are part of your Dad- I think he would be happy and proud that you all choose to contribute

you will know for they are different from other types of dreams- they do not last long and /or your Dad will probably not say much but it will be very meaningful and it will be very real...

hugs to you my friend, Linda:)

greetings Jennifer...here's hoping you had a productive or perhaps a relaxing weekend all to yourself..we of course worked on the rental...my freind came over to help clean, pack, store and sort things - she is good about letting go of things I on the other hand- am not, esp. with Mom and Dad memories attached to them- so needless to say not much was put into the donate boxes- but all in all we got a lot done...I don't know if I mentioned to that I am caring for two blind kittens (well one is partly blind) I named them Roux and Gumbo...southern dishes...my husband Rocky and  I decided to adopt them as they would be put to sleep (can not spell the other word at this moment- that expression always sounds so odd to me- put to sleep- candy-coated ) at the shelter (animal control) they are so wonderful, they get around wonderfully...they are finally off bottle feedinf so I do not have to set my alarm for every 3 hours to feed- yet as I did after Guy Henry could sleep thru the night my body and brian still awaken...

I am trying to remember what you all you wrote in your last letter- I wish there was a way to view it as I reply...once again I fell asleep before commenting back to you...

I am glad I married late in life...my Mom did the same - finished nursing school= got established before she even thought about it- which was not the norm back then but was probably on the verg of it- women were becoming more empowered...I did however worry sometimes that I would not find a partner...not so much I had to be married-although I wanted to be...but I didn't have to have that to feel complete- hope that made sense...

I have dreams about both paretns from time to time- mostly they say they are here to visit jsut for a moment- I love those dreams- and other times they are just kinda there and the dreams sorta relate to what has happened or somthing in the past...I pray you have one where your Dad comes to visit

Hi there Jennifer, Sorry it has taking me so long to reply back to you- as I have been falling asleep while I put my son (3yrs) to bed...my husband and I have been working every afternoon after he gets home from work on the rental place- we have a tenant lined up for July- hate to have to open our yard up to others but we need a little extra (as my Moms socail security helped pay for some bills)  hopfully once I get back to work (when ever that is- most liekly once my son- Guy Henry gets established in pre-K)...I have been receiving a card each week from some member of the Church letting me know that they miss us and are praying for us...very low-key as Lutherans are- except one lady thought I was angry with God ,,, which you know as much as I miss my Mom I feel she had a full life...could have been longer but her health was not the best...so no I have never felt anger just confussed and sorrow...I do worry from time to time about the safety of my husband and son- as if something were to happen to them- I think then I would fall apart..

.

I may have mention to you before that I married late in life (at 37) first and probably only child (at 38)...I had offers to marry but nothing felt right and then I just got so busy working (Director of Lutheran Preschool ) and taking care of my Mom that I didn't even think about it- we had a super simple  private wedding and a very big and fun reception/party...keep me posted on your plans...I would love to send you a little congrats gift (maybe some local goodies too)..

.I am also tired bacause I have been taking care of two blind kittens who now both have little colds so I am up every few hours to feed and put the humidifer on to help them...

well my freind heres hoping all is well with you...? your co-workers sound wonderful and I am sure you are finally back in the groove- although thinkgs are not yet normal...love the 80's t-shirts you must have found:)Linda

So good to hear back from you...you know that saying "it is what it is" , well, I think I am living it...(we have a magnet that says that on the fridge- but now it makes so much more sense)...as I may have mentioned it's fianlly feeling real that she is gone...I guess since things have settled down in the lines of the paper work department (still have not found that darn car title and shall just let it find me at this point)...the house yet another thing...so much stuff...and not even more things to sort thru as we are soon to be renting out the back half (which was construsted as a one-bedroom rental, but we have been using as a storage area)...so i am keeping up with three homes- it's a good thing they are are side by side....

I was wondering how work was/went for you...we have yet to get ourselves back in the habit of going to Church- at first it was to soon, then I was fearful of the emotions and everyone coming up to me- and yes, re-living it again...now we are just so tired from working on things...I know we will get back into the swing of things very soon...I hope like you experienced that most folks know what to say and what not to say...pictures are difficult, yet I know whne I come across one I must take it all in...warm tears and all...I am sending you endurance with the afairs of the estate and all the ect that you expressed...your a trooper:)

 and don;t let the turkeys get you down...

any more plans for your wedding? 

oh' and I also know what you mean (and have heard it from many others) ...some days you are just trucking away (it's in the back of your mind and all) and then it just hits you..."my Mom/Dad is in Heaven"