Thank you Jill! It is nice for someone to finally understand. Though I get others want to help, a lot of it does not. If you don't mind me asking, but when did you lose someone? I don't mean to pry. I just read the FULL police report for the first time last night and today and it was beyond horrible. I was told he didn't suffer and was in shock, and neither was true. His car struck a tree, for unknown reasons, and caught on fire. His legs were then pinned down by the engine and dash. There was a gentleman there who was trying to rescue him, but he couldn't remove the car from on top of him, and then had to give up because the whole car was engulfed in flames. I know this guy was just trying to protect me and all of my husbands family, and I appreciate that. However, now I know the truth and I can't imagine being able to get on. How can I be happy when he suffered so? I don't know if your situation is similar and I'm sorry to vent all of this to you. When I start typing, I really get going.

TO EVERYONE while I am still having hard time i had a very good couple days and their is light at the end of the tunnel if we look . i had a most enjoyable 72 hours and met some truly nice people on my road trip

thank you jill . sounds like we have lot in common . as for being able to afford to move to the beach because i am not a wealtly person it's one of those things where if you wait till you can truly afford it you will never do it and i have ALWAYS be able to make money if i worked (self employed)so while i will have to continue working it's a small price to pay because life is short and maybe conintui9ng to have to work 5 days a week may keep me young espically if i have the beach to come home to every day . thank you for your ccomments your feeling about bring people into your house that you are dating is one of tyhe reasons why i cann
ot continue living where i am

jill i appreciate your comments very much and i realize moving will be stressful mentally as well as financially (renting my house out not selling it) but my wife died 1 mile from my house on the same road we live on and i simply cannot spend rest of my life avoiding that stretch of the road or pretending i like certain neighbors who i despise (one never spoke to my wife in 18 years of living in this area which is a rural area yet had the stupidity and nerve to show up at my house with food after her death and unlike my wife who would have had the guts to run her off i simply said nothing ) Or pretending I like certain lawyers or judges i despise (i'm a lawyer) because I
must do business with them AND YES I KNOW I WILL be taking my problems with me that there will always be neighbors and business associates I must get along with but I want to be close to the ocean and i wanted that before my wife was killed and i know if i don't move now and allow myself to get comfortable again living here i will NEVER GET OUT OF THIS county AND the one thing i know for certain is i do not want to die in this county OR STAY IN THE HOUSE i shared with my wife . That house was built for only me and my wife and i cannot ever share it with another person . While my wife would want me to be happy if i met someone new i know she would not want me to
bring them into our home because on more than one occasion she told me so if something ever happen to her .

That is also what my husband died with, collapsed in drive way while helping 12 year old grandson with school project exactly six months ago today. I still feel in shock as well as deep pain