John Lanza
  • Male
  • Kenilworth, NJ
  • United States
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At 3:14pm on September 20, 2013, Jane P. said…

John I am so sorry for your loss. And yes grieving such as ours is gut wrenching.  I am currently 27 months into this and I HATE every second of being here.  I miss my husband so much he made me who I am today. And if he could see me babbling as I do he would be so annoyed at me!

John, your story was beautiful and the love just pored from your words.  Yes, you are correct we all have disagreements/arguments but life some how puts things back into reality but death changes the  perspective.  

Your grief is raw and decision making is impossible.  Guilt is and will take over for all that you did or did not do, unfortunately that is human nature.  

Grieving such as ours is a baby step process and there are no timeframes, no instructions, no manuals in which you follow.  Your heart is broken, you life has been altered, and you just struggle to find a new normal,  Try and take every day as a new beginning just putting one foot in front of the other one small baby step at a time.  Hugs,  Jane P.

John Lanza's Blog

My "new" reality.......

Posted on September 20, 2013 at 1:49pm 0 Comments

Not really knowing where to start, so I guess I'll start at the beginning.  (IN MY PICTURE CHRISTOPHER IS THE ONE ON THE LEFT AND I AM ON THE RIGHT)

Christopher (my spouse) and I had met back in January of 2004.  I was 21 and he was 20.  From that day on we were a strong force, loved each other deeply, were looked as an inspiration to all of our young gay friends and of course we looked forward to spending the rest of our lives together.  The beginning was a little rough with our…


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