Katherine,

  Jane is so right about being in a fog in the first year and to keep lists of bills, appointments, etc. After losing my wife 8 months ago, I just cannot remember anything. I got up early this morning again (still unable to sleep) and started looking around for my reading glasses for about 4 minutes before I realized I had them on. I still do not recall many of the visitors or what was said to me at her services. As Marsha also said, postpone any important decisions until after a year has passed and this "fog" we are in will hopefully have lifted.

 I, like others on the forum, have not posted regularly because of having such bad days but usually read the posts every day. You will get very good advice  and encouragement from others who are going through the same grief here. Grief counselors could not do a better job than advice from members of Legacy. We all feel the same heartache. Hope you are having a better day.

 Hugs.

Katherine, After 17 months from diagnosis to the end  I too lost my husband to lung cancer in June, 2011.  And I can relate to your being consumed by caregiving. I call it hitting a wall at 200 mph and then nothing.  With no regrets I retired from a very good job which I could not go back to after he passed.  I never felt so useless as I did when he was no longer with me. It is now 19 months for me and even though time passed the loneliness stayed.  

You need to be strong and live each day as a new beginning as you struggle to find a new normal.  Grieving such as ours is gut wrenching and it is a baby step process so take your time.  Try not to make any life altering decisions within the first yr. which is classified as the fog year. It also is the year of lists, I had a chart for paying bills, a notebook containing my phone calls, appointments and anything else classified as important to keep myself straight and grounded.  

This is a wonderful site where we are all in different stages of grief but we are all grieving. We truly understand your pain so come here often even if it is to read posts.  Sending you some hugs,  Jane P.