Hi Kimie,  I lost both my parents and husband in a 3 year timeframe.  Both my mother and husband passed from cancer and both their doctors predicated a life span for them.  But I fought back and asked them where they found their expiration dates because I have found nothing on their bodies.  My mom was diagnosed as  stage 2 vaginal cancer and my husband was stage 4 lung cancer my mom survived 9 months from diagnosis and my husband survived 17, so staging has no meaning to me.  My mom was my everything and when she was diagnosed I too just wanted to scream and die with her.  I tried to live every day as meaningful as possible with her.  I wanted a good quality of ife for her and for us to keep making memories together.  When my husband got sick 7 months after her passing there was nothing more I wanted was to pick up the phone and talk to my mom for her to tell me to be strong and you will make it. I had so much grief all at once I had no clue who I was grieving.    Kimie, there are no answers to any of this, it is up to you to put one foot in front of the other taking one small baby step at a time.   it is a long hurtful road but somehow we seem to make it to another place in life and you will too.  HUGS, Jane P