Linda,

Happy Birthday!!  I hope you are managing okay today and you have been able to smile at the memories of birthdays past....it is those treasured memories that help us to make it through each day. 

Birthday hugs to you!

Linda,

Happy Birthday!!  I hope you are managing okay today and you have been able to smile at the memories of birthdays past....it is those treasured memories that help us to make it through each day. 

Birthday hugs to you!

Linda, I agree we need to find new purpose/meaning for our life. I spent all my time, thoughts, energy on loving & caring for my husband. We were so hopeful, just getting started good. He had so many plans for us & things were clicking right along when suddenly he was gone. I have never been a sociable person, Larry was very sociable so by being by his side was the only time I ever really connected with others. I have forced myself to become more involved with church members and some small groups that stem from church such as one that meets for dinner twice each month & another for scrapbooking & crafts. These people have been a blessing. I also started a nonprofit organization in honor of Larry. It keeps me busy & it makes me feel still very connected to him- as if I am still spending my time, energy... on him. I would advise giving yourself time to be still & quiet & reflect. Perhaps there is something you need to finish or something you have always wanted to do, or a cause you feel strongly about, that could give you a new direction to move toward. I had to do this because upon Larry's birthday back in April I felt as if I couldn't bare another day. I prayed to God & told him I don't want to live without Larry, if I must live I give my life to Him. I want to be useful to someone. I can't tell you how blessed it has made me, yet truthfully, tears & sorrow are still with me each day.

I wish you the best. Sorry to go on. I hope this helps~ Hugs, Christy

 

Linda, I agree we need to find new purpose/meaning for our life. I spent all my time, thoughts, energy on loving & caring for my husband. We were so hopeful, just getting started good. He had so many plans for us & things were clicking right along when suddenly he was gone. I have never been a sociable person, Larry was very sociable so by being by his side was the only time I ever really connected with others. I have forced myself to become more involved with church members and some small groups that stem from church such as one that meets for dinner twice each month & another for scrapbooking & crafts. These people have been a blessing. I also started a nonprofit organization in honor of Larry. It keeps me busy & it makes me feel still very connected to him- as if I am still spending my time, energy... on him. I would advise giving yourself time to be still & quiet & reflect. Perhaps there is something you need to finish or something you have always wanted to do, or a cause you feel strongly about, that could give you a new direction to move toward. I had to do this because upon Larry's birthday back in April I felt as if I couldn't bare another day. I prayed to God & told him I don't want to live without Larry, if I must live I give my life to Him. I want to be useful to someone. I can't tell you how blessed it has made me, yet truthfully, tears & sorrow are still with me each day.

I wish you the best. Sorry to go on. I hope this helps~ Hugs, Christy

 

Hi Linda

I keep reading your missives about your in-laws and keep hurting for you and being frustrated with them. In my day job I am a psychotherapist that has been working in Mental Health since 1973. Two things I learned early on was that we have no control over other people and behavior does not lie. Either because of their own grief or other reasons your in-laws can not emotionally be around you right now. My wife's relatives run the gamut from super supportive to who are you again? Her step mom and I have bonded in our own grief process as my father-in-law passed away in 2008 and my wife in 2010. The only thing you can do about your husband's family is continue to let them know you love them, that you are there for them and let them make the next move. If they do not make any move there is your answer. You still have your memories, friends and your own life. As painful as our lives are right now life is still too short to let others drag us down, even if they are others we love dearly.

Thanks Linda, I did listen to those songs today.   The 1st one brought a tear to my eye.  You never think about loss until it happens.  I try to think how blessed to have been with Jack for over 40 years.   Seems not enough though, as we are left wanting more time, just a bit more time with our loved one.  We would give anything to have that, but knowing they are still with us, in spirit, well it certainly helps me.

 

Take good care, such a nice picture of you:)

Carol

Dear Linda, your life sounds parallel to mine.   I met my husband Jack, who was on vacation from California with his family, when he was 14 and I was 17.  He was as tall and handsome then at 14 as he was through his life.   I am English/Canadian but Jack was American, and he came to Canada to marry me.  We were married 39 years, not nearly long enough!

 

As I wrote earlier, cancer claimed him too....I hate cancer.  I had to listen to a discussion today about someone else who has colon cancer, and it was difficult.

 

Take care...:)

Carol

 

Hi Linda, I lost my Rick on May 3rd, 2010 and on May 1st.he had a stroke. We were living in Florida at the time, and getting ready to move back to Illinois to be by family. It was a tremendous shock. The n the move and all. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I have bad days and good days. Now tomorrow is his birthday. I think I'll be ok, I just pray God will be with me as he has been with me everyday since I lost Rick. Without God I have no idea where I would be. God Bless, you are in my prayers. Hugs, Nancy

Hi Linda, I share and so many others with your loss.  My husband Jack succumbed to colon cancer last August 31st.  He didnt want to leave either and man did he fight!  But what can you do?  Chemotherapy makes you so sick on top of everything else.  My husband was 57 when he left.  Now our youngest daughter is 5 months pregnant.  So wish he could be here to experience that.  We can only take one day at a time and try and find some joy in simple pleasures.  This though is the best place to share our pain, our tears because we are all going thru the same journey.

Take care.
Hugs, Carol