January 30, 2012.  I keep trying to write this but I can't.  The short of it so you know, we found our 20 year old son dead in his room, laying on his bed from an accidental overdose from a prescription fentanyl patch he had been on since August (and had problems with that no doctor had recognized as being the patch since ..no not august July sorry)  He had respitory failure from it once before in August just after being put on it.  He was on it due to a severe back injury he had been battlng from a football injury since his senior year of high school.  People want to blame him not the professionals who failed to recognize the symptoms or warn us of the dangers.  I've lost my son, they continue to make their millions and live their happy lives with their families and I'm suppose accept that.

Andy was a good loving young man always.  He would go out of his way to help anyone.  He was literally a genius and a strong athlete.  He participated in just about everything his school had to offer..class president,  Senior foorball capt, capt of several academics team, honors student, earned enough scholarships to pay nearly all of his way to an ivy league college where he was also recruited to play football until his injury ended that.  He was in love and planned on being married and wanted to have a family.  And after he  passed I was overwhelmed by all the people he had touched...from young kids to senior citizens.  I had no idea he had touched so many people in such memorable ways.

And to me...Andy and I went through a lot together.  His biological father was abusive.  For the early part of his life it was just him and me.  We were exceptionally close and I am "mom" to his friends as well.  He never gave me any real heartache.  What's more we could read each other.  We understood each other better than anyone else.  I honesly don't know how I will ever survive this and I don't feel anyone understands the extent of this loss to me.  All that constantly runs through my mind is I want my son back.