Dear Margaret, You asked how you should act or what to say with those who are greiving such a loss. We lost Michael, our youngest son, on December 13, 2009, just two and 1/2 months ago. Already people seem to have stopped asking how we are doing. The best thing you could do is ask - let the person know you are thinking of them. Sometimes we get a card that says - still thinking of us and praying for us. Those reminders have been precious to me. Call or stop by if the person wants company.... we so much want to speak about our child and sometimes we need to talk about what happened please listen - someone told me this "If you speak my child's name, I might cry, but if you don't, it will break my heart." Those words are so true. The world seems to go on while our world is forever broken and also our hearts. There will come a time when my husband and I, and our other children will come through this - but not without deep scars. sometimes the pain seems too much to bear, but knowing there are caring people who think of us and think of Michael helps so much. The only bad thing anyone has said to me where the following: It was his choice (No one makes a choice to end his or her life - it is the result of severe depression when they believe there is no other choice) - just get over it - (We will never be "over it" but time will help us live again). Those who have lost a loved one in this manner are terribly wounded. Just be there, be a friend, remember us, ask, listen..... hug, and if you are a faith person, pray.... sometimes that is all we have holding us together to get through another day.
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