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Maria
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Anniversary
Posted on January 19, 2010 at 10:13pm 0 Comments 0 Likes
My dad's one year anniversary is coming up REALLY soon. Its only getting harder the closer it comes and the longer its been since he passed.Everyone says that it gets easier after the first year but I think they are soooo wrong. I don't have anyone to talk to about it or him. I try to talk to family but nobody wants to listen. I am going crazy and it makes it all so much HARDER. Life is hard enough, add work and then this....What else???
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I am glad that you joined as well.... it's a start to our recovery and healing process. It's going to be a long road, some days will be great and other days you will be miserable. As long as you don't hide your emotions you will find strength and manage to get through those bad days.
I held my emotions in for sooo long that at year 5 of my Moms passing I had a total melt down. It actually scared me to death because I wasn't used to feeling so empty. I wasn't used to needing her and not having her here. I felt so low and desperate for her attention. I just kept thinking, why would she leave me like this, why didn't she fight harder to stay with me. I was angry because she just left me, there was no hug, no kiss, no I love you, nothing she was just gone. That's one of the things that haunts my soul and spirit. It was to quick and I wasn't ready to let go.
As I stated before anytime you feel the need to talk pls do not hesitate to write me. I will be here. Hugs!
Tamara
You are not rambling, anytime you want to talk. I am here. It does a lot of good to talk about your feelings. I feel like that too as if people are thinking... here she goes again or they listen to me but they really are thinking geez she should be over this now.
To me the first year was hard, the 2nd through 4th was a little easier to cope but then wham the 5th year I felt like I didn't want to live, I was angry, upset, depressed and mad at the world for continuing to go on while I was alone and stuck.
Honestly through this forum the past few days I have felt a little better. We are all here for the same reasons so no one is criticizing or judging. I hope you find some comfort in that.
Agian pls write me whenever you need to talk. I will always be here to just listen or give a kind word or two... don't ever feel alone anymore. Try and have a peaceful day ... hugs!!
Tamara