"Deborah...next month it will b 2 years since Bob died. My basic roll in life was to take care of him..for 49 years. When he died, and now, I felt/feel I have no purpose or direction in life..like I am drowning and he isn,t here to save me. But I…"
"Ok, the only family I have here in OK is Bobs sister, her daughter and hubby, and 3 grown kids...and my niece calls me if she doesn,t hear from me in a few weeks...my SIL calls when it occurs to her, as she is getting. Little senile...I call my…"
"Thank you, all for your sweet comments. I wish with all my heart that you all would receive a visit. I am so happy to have been so fortunate..I only wish we could have spoken. I have been praying for this since he died.
Oddly, I don,t remember…"
"David! Thank u so much for responding. It was the first thing I read this morning, as I got up at 6am for a Dr visit, and opened my iPad to see if anyone would/had, as the silence of no response was devastating..The people here and their feedback at…"
"I guess I should have kept that to myself..but I had to tell it, as a catharsis. I wish all of you contact with your loved ones who are gone..and the inability of me to verbalize my feelings or know his, was a huge disappointment. I know I am…"
"Ok...sorry if this is difficult to follow..and also, I made one mistake in the telling. I DIDN,t walk to the dining room table, one second I was looking out the front door, the next I was standing there, looking down at the table..it is nine steps…"
"Part 2...the set up:
it was Tuesday afternoon, and was in bed, still in my clothes, for a nap. I take them often in the afternoon between 2-4 pm. On my bed next to me, was a small fabric house, that my cat Rudy was asleep in..I crawled…"
"Hi guys...part 2 is coming up...and thank you for all your comments..but it wasn,t like I always imagined it would be..as I prayed since he died, for a visit. I think my absolute SHOCK at seeing him kinda ruined it...as I couldn,t SPEAK...all during…"
" PART 1: of Bobs “visit”
i Haven,t posted the last few days, as something MAJOR happened to me yesterday afternoon...I still am unsure how to write it down, and I am still absolutely STUNNED at what happened, and I want to…"
"You are very welcome. I hope you will have the courage to post on Bereaved Spouses....please don,t be afraid to share...but, then again...it has only been 3 weeks...I think you are incredibly brave for coming here so soon. When my husband died, I…"
"I don,t know if this is a good or bad thing, but I am strting to remember my dreams. Last night..(I will give you the very short version..) I had driven into an underground parking lot...I had BOb with me...he was alive, but had cancer, and I knew I…"
I'm so sorry for your loss. There is no getting over this and those that believe you could or should just don't understand. I both feel jealous of those that believe they can carry on as usual and I feel pitty for if they are old enough to have had a lasting relationship they must not have known love in as complete and deep way as you are fortunate to have known.
Thank you for your kind words, guidance, and suggestion. I believe I will join the group you suggested.
I received a nice note from a David Heggi on this site but while trying to thank him his note vanished. I don't know how yet exactly to reply or post but I will keep trying.
Thank you again for saying hello and trying to help guide me here.
Mary Jane, I have been wondering what I did wrong. thank you for finding me. I have been reading posts of support on here. you all are very encouraging I'm just not very good at talking. I'm sorry for your loss and will pray for you on saturday. Our 25th anniversary would have been April 18th, My oldest sister is the only person who said anything to me that day. I was upset with her family but we have drifted apart since her death. I will try to post in the other area later today. thanks again.
Mary.Jane ... You're a goof, but a good one! LOL I am so very sorry you're not feeling well and it amazes me you always joke around or make light of things with all the things you are going through. You hang in there girl!
Hi Mary Jane,
Thank you for the friend request - sometimes this is easier to use, with the added advantage of being free to say things more candidly without offending or confusing the other family members in Bereaved Spouses. I get it completely about how frustrating it is to post sometimes - the same thing happens to me all the time, and on top of that I have Windows XP and a less than top drawer access through my phone co., mostly because of severe budget constraints. That's why I can't always get on and just write quickly when I want to, so believe me I won't think you rude for taking time to reply, and know you will excuse me too!
I won't keep blathering now, except to say I haven't read yours or any other posts for a few days, but your comment about waking up crying is so familiar to me - sometimes tears start gathering and running down my face without my hardly noticing it anymore...sadly it is such a familiar feeling that I just hope I'm not in a store or talking to a neighbor. With friends, or of course Steve, I don't worry about it because they aren't upset or uncomfortable, they just reach for my hand or pass the tissues calmly. Friends- TRUE friends - are the most precious thing to me after my beloved Larry, and now Steve.
If you are inclined, I am giving you my email address off this site, so we can exchange notes and/or photos without worrying about words being censored. No, I don't have a potty mouth, but you will find that some words and expressions that seem tame are blocked to avoid offending anyone. I think that's a good thing, but have to re-type things trying to figure out what was objectionable in my original post, and that gets tedious after awhile.
I hope this gets through, and am so glad you are joining the conversations now, because these folks here really are very kind and honest, and have pulled me back from the brink of madness more than once I assure you! Have a pleasant weekend, find some peace for yourself, and write whenever you feel like it - I'm listening, and don't be afraid of asking me stuff, because I'm pretty mello as a person.