Grief support groups, condolence advice, funeral etiquette and more
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Megan
- Female
- Palm bay, fl
- United States
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"Hoping to connect with other gay/lesbian members who have recently lost a spouse."
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Megan.....Linda again....I found the pic I wanted to send to you from Xmas of all the grandkids!Hugs.....
Linda
Hi Megan I am Linda and am a retired teacher & principal! I am so sorry for your unbelieveable and shocking loss! I know you must still be hurting something awful! I lost my Mom last Feb. 22, 2009, and she was 78, and I'm a grandmother of 7 grandkids....3 of which are almost your age, and the hurt is still immense for me!So, in some ways I identify with you, and in others, I REALLY do....more than most! It is private info involving 3 other teens your age that also lost their Moms at the same age. So, I am privy to some information that I think can help, but don't feel sharing their stories publically.....as well as yours at your young age. But, I do have some first hand experience in my family that gives me the hope that I can help you.
I am so proud of you for reaching out to this group! I'm really impressed that someone of your young age would have such insight and desire to seek help on their own. That says so much about your intelligence, identity, upbringing, faith and character. Remember that...you are a special young lady, and I will always be here for you......so will everyone else here, but with your age, let's stay private for the most part.
Email me privately and tell me about yourself and your Mom. It really does help to talk, and when that is not possible, journaling is so healingt! My email is:
billindainokc@cox.net
I'll attach a pic from Xmas of some of the grandkids & my husband & I so you will know more about me, and that I am who I say I am.....always be aware of that in talking to anyone....especially on the Internet.
Once you email me, I can give you or your Dad any other pertinent information to keep you safe! If you want to talk on the phone, I'll give you my number & we can do that, and yes Ms. Teenager, the 7 yr. old granddaughter even taught me to text this year & I LOVE IT!!!
You hang in there, and take care of you, and know that God has a plan for you.....always be true to yourself and your emotions, and know that grieving is normal and necessary before you can continue your life.....not as it was, but forever changed, and hopefully stronger and inspired for the trials you now endure. You will again find pleasure in something that will newly inspire you...it just might take time, but always be open and receptive to that which now brings you pleasure, and from that you will always be inspired to continue on in the memory of your Mom and the life she would want for you!
I think it is also extremely important that you know that everyone grieves differently and with different times necessary. Just as their is no time limit on love, there is also no time limit on grieving! If someone tries to tell you to "move-on" and/or "get on with your life," they are not identifying with you, and don't understand what you are going through personally! This is your journey.....as difficult as it might be, you will get through it...someday..in your own time and in your own way...always remember that, because that is normal & there is nothing wrong with that or with you...no matter what some may try to make you say or think.
Remember you are in all of our thoughts and prayers here at Legacy.com... especially those of mine personally. I tried to email you late last night, but the site was being updated, and couldn't get it through.....you were in my thoughts all night long, dear one!
I'm anxious to connect with you! Going to get lunch & will be home soon! Looking forward to hearing from you soon!
Hugs, thoughts & prayers!
...sending different pic...other would not upload. This is 2 youngest granddaughters 5 years ago.
Linda
Okla. City
I am so sorry for the loss of your Mom. You are only 14 years-old and my heart goes out to you.
It's so painful to lose someone you love at any age, but especially at a tender age like yours.
Megan, I am in my 40's and I just lost my mother last month to cancer. I feel lost too. Sometimes I feel like I am 5 years-old again. Mom and I were best friends and I had the privilege of being her caregiver too. Her passing on January 2, 2010 was very sudden and I am still in shock.
When I was a child and I use to get scared about my mother passing away (she was chronically ill) I would cry, but tell myself that when I was older and she was older I would come to terms with it more easily. Well Megan, I was wrong. I am finding it very confusing and frightening and sad and so many other things. And I am so much older than you are. I am sharing this with you because I want you to know that you're not really alone in your feelings even though it may seem that way at times.
I will be thinking of you and hoping and praying for you to find your way. Just like your Mom would wish for you. Try to find a safe and creative outlet to express your feelings and give them a voice. Writing (emails and posts) helps me sort out the thoughts in head and heart. Maybe keeping a journal, or writing a song, or a poem, or singing, or dancing, or listening to music would help you deal with some of the sad and scary emotions you are feeling.
Megan, I am glad you had the courage to post your comment in a safe place. If you need someone to “listen”, you could always email me if that is okay with your Dad or guardian too.
Please take care of yourself, and let us (me) know how you are doing.
Lisa (junepeony@gmail.com)