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Hi Lisa, It's a holy shame how some can forget who brought them into this world. It'd be so much easier to just walk away as there wouldn't be any of the down deep pain WE are living with everyday & evidently they have no guilt. My Mom was always the one & only person who knew my heart. It was so hard for me to watch my Mom go through so many changes due her original stroke in 2001. On top of that I had to deal with the damn nursing home ineptness. I work 10-hour days so during year after year I would go (10 mi. out of my way) after work everyday to check on her condition and how she was progressing. Needless to say, it ran me into the ground, but no matter I wouldn't change a thing unless I was able to not have her go through all of the horrible stuff. I was always sad before I'd see her & sad when I left as I would never have wanted my Mom's life to be lived like that. I hoped & prayed that she never realized how bad off her condition was. My bro never called me to see how she was doing. I always called him to tell him. It pissed me off to have to always be the one to always call, but she was HIS Mom too. My Mom was always there to help him through all of his mishaps in life that he mostly caused himself, mind you, he is 8 years older than me. When my Dad passed, I still had my Mom to talk to and share moments with her about his sillinesses over the years & I know that made us both feel better to do that. But now, I have NOT A ONE who would appreciate my Mom's so many uniqueness in my life. The journal sounds like a good idea as I do love to write. I'm pretty sure that I will never, ever forget all that was in my life. Lucky for you you can impart all who your Mom's uniqueness into your children & know that they will hopefully do that for you some day. Just know that we have been Blessed to know our beautiful, sweet Moms. PamB

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At 4:00pm on February 9, 2010, Lisa said…
Hi Pam..
I am going through something similar. I think I could work through my grief if I could share it with my brother and sister. My sister is engulfed in alcoholism. She didn't even come to the funeral. My brother resents me and I don't even why. He has spoken to me since I called him to tell her she was gone. He did come to the services though. It's hard not having anyone to share common memories with. I think they are guilty over how they treated her. It's okay though. I know I did everything I could for her. Do you feel that way? I have a sense of peace knowing that I was there for her when she needed someone the most. I had that honor. I cherish my memories that I have of her. They are precious and they are ours alone. Almost sacred. Try to look at your memories the same way. Someone suggested to me that I write mine down. It helps to go back and read them. I will be glad to let you share some with me to. Thoughts and prayers, Lisa
At 4:47pm on December 22, 2009, PamB said…
I tried sending a comment to you and I kept getting an error message.
At 2:31pm on December 22, 2009, LGWilson said…
I am in the same positon as you. I was alwyas tehre for her and was alone w/her when she passed did everything on my own incl all funeral arrangements and only heard from bro when he had to scapegoat his guilt and when he sent his fat wife to take mom's furn the day aft funeral. I was so disgusted, I just let them take everything. I came home to an extension chord thrown in the middle of the room. Insult to injury. And just as you said, there is noone to share all of the happy and funny stories with.

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