haven't been on here in awhile. Trying to keep busy, but nights are so long and weekends are even longer. June 28th marked 6 months since his death. People go on, and they think I should be over grieving by now, but married for 42 years is a long time to just put by the wayside. This is the 4th of July weekend, family is going camping amd I am happy for them.

I think of you every day, some days are worst than others. I find the weekends and nighttimes are the worst. We have our 43 wedding anniversary coming up on April 29th. I don't know how I am going to handle that.

Laurie, things are raw right now, you and you alone have to take each day one step at a time and one day at a time. I was with my husband for 42 years and then he was gone. I found myself like you. Family and friends didn't understand me. I felt so alone. My faith and knowing what my husband would of wanted me to do kept me going. I still find myself crying and looking for him. It is something your going to have to come to terms with in your own way and time.

Lynn, I read what you had to say. My husband died dec 28,2009. We were married over 42 years. You never get over it, you kind of come to terms with it. I asked myself how I thought he would want me to handle this. My husband was vert methodical , He died within 15 months of being diagnosed with lung cancer, we thought we were going to have longer, the dr told us with treatment his type of cancer he could live up to 5 years. He only made it 15 months. During that time we were inseparable during all of his treatments and tests. He was a planner he planned for me to go on without him, he had an inlaw apartment built for us, so I wouldn't be alone. He bought me all new appliances furnace and furniture. I have a new car, everything was paid for his funeral etc. I knew since he did all this he wanted me to go on without him. Do I miss him everyday, I talk to him like he's still with me about everyday things like what I'm going to do. I didn't venture out of the house at all at first, now I find I am able to go out . I take him with me everywhere, his spirit is still very much alive and for that I am extremely grateful. People might think I'm crazy they see me talking in the car or out walking there's nobody there, but I know he's right besides me every step I take. Everybody handles grief differently this is how I handle mine and so far it's working.

first Valentine's day, I made my hubby a valentine and put it on the shelve next to his urn. Wished him a happy valentine's day. I thank God I brought his remains home with me, I find myself talking to him all the time.