Thanks Barbara, I try so hard to continue living.... sometimes it is so hard. I continue to look back knowing he's gone. This past weekend was really hard for me. I visited with family and realized I was totally alone. Everyone is married their children and grandchildren were there,is could barely wait until the next morning to leave and return home. I'm attending grief counseling for the third time because I am so lost and alone,this couldn't be my life. I'm waiting for someone to pinch and wake me up for it must be dreaming. I cried the entire time during the counseling session is as if I just couldn't help myself. Being lost for words has not ever been a problem for me until after my husband's murder. I want so much to at least try and leave The New Normal but as I take one step forward it seems I take 3 steps back. I do understand that one loss is no greater than the next persons however there's no justice in what happened and I continue to walk around wanting to prove our innocence. I've learned when it comes to law enforcement and Birmingham they really don't care to seek the truth. I continue to pray that God steps in and bring everything to the light because I don't want to leave this world with the stain on my husband's and my name.
Reponsa, Welcome to our Legacy family. I'm sorry for the loss that brought you here. The pain we all share is real. This is a place we can all be honest. We don't have to put on those smiles to make others feel better. I'm sorry you lost your love in a tragic way. I can't imagine the added pain that must bring. I lost my husband Ken on Jan 13th this year after almost 27 years of marriage. Now, it's all about faking my way through each day. I pray for my Legacy family often and will add you to those prayers.
He's a good looking guy, sorry for your loss. I struggle with the same thing I know Diane is gone, but there is a small piece of my brain that won't believe it no matter what. The idea that I won't get another kiss,hug or I Love You more from her is just too much to accept at times. The realty of the situation sucks but I can't change it no matter how much I want too.
Dear Reponsa; so sorry for the loss that has brought you here. As Barbara shares: keep on keeping on. You will find many angels on this site, and all of us are grieving. The path is different for each of us, but we've started at the same place: loss that crashed the world around us - struggling moment-to-moment. I have found great comfort in the company of people who truly know the despair - we who have lost our spouse.
Yes, you're right the love had is still there in your heart, mind and soul. When someone we love leaves us the one and only thing they take is the love given to them. It's good to keep sending your love. It's normal to have pain and not get past it or over it. But if you ever read anything I've posted anywhere you will read how I and others with loss of loved ones keep on keeping on. If you feel that you need to keep a smile to hide your pain that's okay. You can do whatever it is that pleases you. Other people will care however everyone that is alive has issues to deal with. When a person you know is spending any amount of time with you that indicates that they care. But know that everyone has a cross they carry but like to put down at times. The splinters are different sizes in every individuals cross. Whatever you want to do such as you wrote that "I try to slip away from everyone that knows me." It's understandable because when we lose a loved one we need the time to feel their love and be with that individual that lives in our hearts. It's okay to cry as often as you need it can help in many ways. It's fine to do whatever you want to do to help yourself. Just remember to "Keep on Keeping On" By this I mean to do some of the same things you have done before. Please try to eat healthy, try to sleep and lay down for even 5 minutes when you can. If you can answer my post and I will check and respond when I can within a 24 hour time lapse.