My deepest sympathy to you. Your son is beautiful. I lost my nephew and seeing his mother go through her grief is still so overwhelming (he passed almost 2 years now) I am blessed with children and I don't know how I would react. I still grieve for my nephew and I grieve for my sister-in-law,you, and anyone who has had a child pass on; for a part of them is also gone. I am confident that he sees you and you will see him again. I have learned by watching that you will move on slowly and this will make your son happy. He doesn't want to see his mom sad all of the time. I know you will never heal completely, but your bleeding will turn into a wound and then eventually a scar. Take care of yourself and grieve as much as you need. Many will not understand why your grief is taking so long, but let them think what they will. Be around others who care about you. Sally

From your words I can feel the love you have for your son. I'm not quite sure how this site works either. I'm sure that Kurt and my nephew Justin have made friends in heaven. Justin never knew a stranger and even with all of his limitations he would approach you and say Hi. If you ever need to talk just email me. Sometimes it's easier to vent your frustrations out on a stranger. A short time stranger anyway. Talk to you soon. Take care. Barbara

dear rita, thank you so much for responding to me. i have so been hoping to hear from you. please let me know how you are doing. Denise

rita, this is denise. did you receive my letter?

Dear Rita: What a beautiful baby and what a tender picture of both you and kurk. First, my deepest condolence to you. This hurts very deeply as the loss of a child really does. Jesus was deeply grieved when he met a widow of Nain and saw her dead son. The Bible account tells us As Jesus got near the gat of the city, why, look? there was a dead man being carried out, the only begotten son of his mother. When the Lord caught sight of her, he was moved with pity for her, and he said to her: "stop weeping.' With that he approached and touched the bier and the bearers stood still and he said: Young man, I say to you, Get up! And he did! This hope has given me great comfort. There is going to be a resurrection and this is a Bible promise (JOhn 5:28,29) Sickness and death will be a thing of the past. yet for the time we must receive comfort as we learn these truths. Rita grieving is a process. The word "process" does not imply that grief has any fixed schedule or program. Grief reactions can overlap and take varying lengths of time, depending on the individual. Many days we can feel incomplete. It can be painful to enter certain rooms even. Long before a child is born it is loved by its mother. when a child dies, the mother feels that a real person has been lost. and that is what others need to need to understand. There are things that help. writing as you are doing is one of them. don't let othere dictate how you should act or feel. whenever you need to ..cry..cry. grief must be released, talking about your feelings as your doing really helps ecc. 3:1,4 there is a "time to weep" says the Bible. The Bible assures us: God is near to those that are broken at heart; and those who are crushed in spirit he saves. (Psalm 34:18). May you be comforted.