Valentine's Day hit me harder than I expected as well.  Steve and I decided to get married on Valentine's Day; perhaps that explains it.  I miss him terribly, and expect I always will, although I hope the pain gets easier.

Thanks for your note.  It is hard to keep in touch, and this site is all grief-all the time.  There's a bereaved spouses page on Facebook.  Just type "bereaved spouses" in the search box, and you'll find it.  Only about 45 members, and some of them are on Legacy, but at least folks talk about things other than grief.  They talk about that, too, of course, but it's a bit lighter in tone overall.  Are you on Facebook or would you consider joining?  If you do, I'll "friend" you.

I have decided not to put my house on the market just yet.  I'm not ready for another "loss," and my house is a comfort.   At such time as I move elsewhere, I'll know I've really left my old life with Steve behind, and I'm not ready for that.  So, I'll consult a realtor about what needs to be done before showing it and take my time.  And hope my work holds out... don't get me started on all those anxieties.

Keep in touch.  We live so close, we should consider lunch or something one day after the snow is gone.  Would you like that?

Hi Sharon - How are you doing?  I hope you're surviving the holiday season well enough.  I went to DC to see my younger stepson, his wife, and my 2-year old granddaughter.  It was hard traveling without Steve, but I made it, and I'm glad I went. 

 

As for the new year, It's hard, moving into a year that our husbands won't share, isn't it?  It feels like I'm leaving Steve behind somehow, but perhaps that's the way it needs to be.  Can't say I like it much, though.  I hope 2011 brings us both some peace and comfort.  Hugs - Susan

Thanks for your notes, Sharon. We aren't far apart geographically; I live in Chicago. My grandparents lived in Oak Park when I was a kid, on Washington Blvd. near Austin, right across from St. Catherine of Sienna.

I don't have children of my own, but Steve's three children - a daughter and two sons - and I have good relationship. My stepdaughter and her partner are in eastern Michigan. Both stepsons are on the east coast. The younger is married, and he and his wife and my 2-year old granddaughter are in the DC area. I travel to DC periodically on business (I'm a consultant), so that gives me extra chances to see them. I take it you are not working - or were you thinking you'd look for something after you move? Tell me a bit more about yourself.

I certainly can understand your wanting to be closer to your sons now. Most of my friends and family are in this area, so I probably will stay in Chicago, but am thinking I'll put my house on the market in the spring. It's too much for me to handle physically - I have a disability that limits mobility - and I'd like to be somewhere where I just don't have to worry about the yard, the basement, the attic, the snow, etc.. Perhaps I'll buy a condo in an elevator building with indoor parking. Still, Steve and I bought this house together and were married here, so it will be hard to leave it.

The suddenness of Steve's death ... well, I'd say it took a couple of months before I could even begin to grapple with that, before the shock and numbness began to wear off. It's wearing off now, and the pain is astoundingly difficult to bear sometimes. But I suspect the pain is difficult whether we've had time to prepare for it or not. The loss is still there, and we cannot help but miss them. I miss Steve terribly.

Sharon, these are wonderful photos! I'm so sorry for your loss. Dennis was taken far too soon. I hope you and your son are doing well enough. If you want to vent, cry, whatever, I'm here.

Thank you Sharon. Would you beleive that I just got that one developed? I had about 10 rolls of film that had never developed. After he died, I took it and there were so many memories that I'd forgotten about. You have some beautiful pictures of your husband as well. After reading your posts, I think our guys sort of had some things in common. I hope you are doing ok. I'm hanging in there. If you need to talk, I am here for you.

Thank you Sharon. Would you beleive that I just got that one developed? I had about 10 rolls of film that had never developed. After he died, I took it and there were so many memories that I'd forgotten about. You have some beautiful pictures of your husband as well. After reading your posts, I think our guys sort of had some things in common. I hope you are doing ok. I'm hanging in there. If you need to talk, I am here for you.

Sharon, I like your pictures. I have asked my daughter to help me put some pictures of Jim on my page, hopefully soon. My thoughts are with you. Take care.

Thanks Sharon! I think we all ache for each other here, it helps just to know we're not alone.

Thanks Sharon! I think we all ache for each other here, it helps just to know we're not alone.