It has been 6 weeks since my husband died in a nursing home of lung cancer.
It is hard living alone but we must go on .
We never had children together but he had 4 with his first wife. 2of them are talking to me & 2 aren't.
It makes it harder when that happens.
I miss him so much but would not want him back the way he was. He developed dementia & really suffered.
I cry a lot also but I guess in time that will get better.
God Bless you.
Sheryl
Got it ... I am also on facebook! I've had another loss on Saturday. My brother, who had MS for many, many years, died on Saturday morning. For him (and us) it was a blessing. He is no longer suffering and we are all at peace with it. He did not have a wife or children, just Mom and us brothers and sister. But... going to the funeral home was so hard. But one more milestone, I made it through okay! Karen
We had the Celebration of Life also. I took something for my nerves to get through the service, however, I guess I was still in the shock stage and I don't remember much of it - - - just bits and pieces.
A friend owns a restaurant/bar and offered his place to us after the service. I was really grateful to him. The cigar store that we sold in April also put on a spread after the service. Billy touched so many people in his journey and the service was very large. He also had military honors with the Marines. That was really nice!
The tears keep coming, I am still not in conrol of them. When I can see that people are sincere in their condolances, my eyes just fill with tears and flood my face. It's been 19 days and the big sobs are better. I think staying very busy and the days full helps. Everyday that passes is "time" and I think it helps to cope with each day. The blessing for me is that I know that Billy really loved me and he worried that I would be ok. I just can't let him down! He kept trying to reassure me that "everything will be ok". I think he tried to keep his mind off the pain by trying to make sure that I would be ok.
BTW - he too never worried about the finances. He just said I would be ok.
At 3:26pm on November 20, 2009, sherry eagen said…
Sheryl,
I'm new to this sight also. I tried adding you as a friend, but I got a message saying my computer couldn't do that at this time. I'll try and figure out what's up. We can still send comments back and forth. My husband didn't want a traditional funeral--all he wanted was a celebration of his life with free drinks and food for everyone. We had that yesterday afternoon. Everyone who came was so nice and I ended up doing alot more crying. They say crying is good, I guess. Hear from you soon. Sherry
At 7:04am on November 20, 2009, sherry eagen said…
Sheryl,
I'm fortunate because I don't have to go back to work until Nov. 30th. I'm sure it won't be easy--if anyone says anything about my husband, I know I'll cry. Even writing this is making me cry. I know what you mean about the paperwork...There is just so much to do. Money was never important to my husband, so there isn't alot to pay "final expenses" . I'm trying to do as much as I can with the legal stuff to avoid lawyer fees. My husband went so quickly, there wasn't time to talk about what to do with everything. Like you said, "now I have to figure out who I am". Would it be alright if I added you as a friend?
Sherry
Hello, Sheryl,
I am so sorry for your loss and all you and your husband went through. Pancreatic cancer is the worse!!!! Fred took lots of pain meds and still had pain. At the end (in hospice) he was acting and doing so many very strange things that they told me it must have gone to his brain also. I had no idea, I just thought it was the pain meds. I relive moments everyday and cry almost everyday. I work and that keeps me focused and I have my new grand daughters. But when I look at them, I am sad because they will never know their grandfather. I miss him more and more everyday. Get involved with some type of support group if you can. I am just now doing that, and they have some great ideas and helps. If I can help, or if you just want to vent, I will be glad to listen.
Take care,
Karen
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I hope this gets to you. I tried your regular e-mail address and my computer says it's incorrect. Let me know.
Sherry
It is hard living alone but we must go on .
We never had children together but he had 4 with his first wife. 2of them are talking to me & 2 aren't.
It makes it harder when that happens.
I miss him so much but would not want him back the way he was. He developed dementia & really suffered.
I cry a lot also but I guess in time that will get better.
God Bless you.
Got it ... I am also on facebook! I've had another loss on Saturday. My brother, who had MS for many, many years, died on Saturday morning. For him (and us) it was a blessing. He is no longer suffering and we are all at peace with it. He did not have a wife or children, just Mom and us brothers and sister. But... going to the funeral home was so hard. But one more milestone, I made it through okay! Karen
We had the Celebration of Life also. I took something for my nerves to get through the service, however, I guess I was still in the shock stage and I don't remember much of it - - - just bits and pieces.
A friend owns a restaurant/bar and offered his place to us after the service. I was really grateful to him. The cigar store that we sold in April also put on a spread after the service. Billy touched so many people in his journey and the service was very large. He also had military honors with the Marines. That was really nice!
The tears keep coming, I am still not in conrol of them. When I can see that people are sincere in their condolances, my eyes just fill with tears and flood my face. It's been 19 days and the big sobs are better. I think staying very busy and the days full helps. Everyday that passes is "time" and I think it helps to cope with each day. The blessing for me is that I know that Billy really loved me and he worried that I would be ok. I just can't let him down! He kept trying to reassure me that "everything will be ok". I think he tried to keep his mind off the pain by trying to make sure that I would be ok.
BTW - he too never worried about the finances. He just said I would be ok.
I'm new to this sight also. I tried adding you as a friend, but I got a message saying my computer couldn't do that at this time. I'll try and figure out what's up. We can still send comments back and forth. My husband didn't want a traditional funeral--all he wanted was a celebration of his life with free drinks and food for everyone. We had that yesterday afternoon. Everyone who came was so nice and I ended up doing alot more crying. They say crying is good, I guess. Hear from you soon. Sherry
I'm fortunate because I don't have to go back to work until Nov. 30th. I'm sure it won't be easy--if anyone says anything about my husband, I know I'll cry. Even writing this is making me cry. I know what you mean about the paperwork...There is just so much to do. Money was never important to my husband, so there isn't alot to pay "final expenses" . I'm trying to do as much as I can with the legal stuff to avoid lawyer fees. My husband went so quickly, there wasn't time to talk about what to do with everything. Like you said, "now I have to figure out who I am". Would it be alright if I added you as a friend?
Sherry
I am so sorry for your loss and all you and your husband went through. Pancreatic cancer is the worse!!!! Fred took lots of pain meds and still had pain. At the end (in hospice) he was acting and doing so many very strange things that they told me it must have gone to his brain also. I had no idea, I just thought it was the pain meds. I relive moments everyday and cry almost everyday. I work and that keeps me focused and I have my new grand daughters. But when I look at them, I am sad because they will never know their grandfather. I miss him more and more everyday. Get involved with some type of support group if you can. I am just now doing that, and they have some great ideas and helps. If I can help, or if you just want to vent, I will be glad to listen.
Take care,
Karen