Hi Tammy, Hope you are doing well today. I read the article about John. What a wonderful tribute to him. Thanks for sharing. And feel free to E mail me anytime you are feeling down. Take care and hang in there!
Glad to hear you had a good day.Isn't true that when the sun shines it can make a day a bit better? Yes, I did loose someone close to me but not the way you did. In 2000 my sister passed away from a brain tumor, in 2002 another sister died from breast cancer. They were my big sisters and I depended on them for so much. In 2004 my younger brother was diagnosed with leukemia and in 2007 he passed away. Needless to say it's been a rough couple of years for my family. But of course it's been the hardest on my mother, I seriously don't know how she can even live trough something like this. So how has your fiance's Dad been doing? Well, today is supposed to be another sunny day (for the most part) and I pray that today will be a better day for you.
I think it's wonderful that you are joining a support group. They better than anyone should know more of the pain your are having. I 'm sure that just talking about it will lessen your sorrow. ( I live in Pittsburgh, too!)
I am so sorry what has happened. I can't begin to understand how it feels for someone you love to take their own life. Please don't do the "what-ifs"..I feel that's the devils way of trying to make you feel like you could have prevented this from happening. But it wasn't anything you did to cause it as much as you could not have prevented it. Just rely on your faith to get you through.
On Sept 28th 2009 my fiance committed suicide. His father and I found him in his car in the garage. There was no indication to any of us that he would do such a thing. The night before he sent me a lovely text I received it in the am...smiled.. went about my morning routine.....calling him later and receiving no answer.....what constantly plays over in my mind...if I got the text at night and called or if I called first thing in the morning would he be here.??? Also, the inner turmoil he must of had hurts me tremendously. To be such a good actor....how that must of been so hard to pretend all was well. I am a very strong and independant woman BUT this will take me a very very long time to cope with and understand. I am looking to GOD for my understanding. My friends and Family have been so supportive. I truly have never felt such a void in my life.