We have a lot in common. I also have fibromyalgia and Lupus so I know how hard it can be. I also have a granddaughter with Downs Syndrome and she is 2 1/2. She is the smartest, sweetest little girl I know. Just wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you and know how you're feeling. If I can help just let me know.
Tracy, I'm sure your dad loved you. Sometimes fathers have to go along with the mom's to keep peace but I guarantee he still loved you. Sometimes when there are others in the family that just won't let you have peace, it is better just to sit back and let them carry the anger. I have a relative like that too and I have decided the only way to have peace in my life is to just not engage in anything with her. I still go to family get-togethers but since my dad and mom are both gone, it's just about 4 times a year. In bad cases you are probably better off just being with your husband and kids and let the destructive members of the family destruct without you. Good luck.