Yesterday I made myself go down to the municipality to pick up Jessica's death certificate. I cried all the way there and broke down in front of the clerk at the office this was like the finality that she was gone. It was like reality hit me again that she wasn't coming back. I ask to have it sealed in an envelope I still can't look at it yet. A friend of mine came by to get it copied for me for proof of death of a bill that kept coming since her passing. God how I miss her so bad
Haven't posted lately, Feb 15th was my daughter and my son's 28th Birthday and also the 7th month anniversary of her death. My son didn't want to celebrate on the 15th so we had dinner on sunday the 14th instead. My daughter's two childhood best friends were there that day to help my son to celebrate we did the dinner thing and I did make both of their favorite cakes and my son blew out his candles and the two friends blew out Jessica's candles... We paused afterword and held hands around the table to just cry or just to be silent. Then one of Jessica's friends just spoke of some stories of remberance of the past of Jessica and we just reminist of the past few years of stories of Jessica. We made arrangements to go to the grave site the next day so we were on our way to the cementary until this drunk driver woman just cut my son of turning right in front of him into a liqure store and my head hit the windshield ( just two blocks from the cementary) and I was rushed to the hospital ended up with a severe cuncussion I haven't been allowed to travel except to the doctor and I just kinda wish in a way that God would take me to be with my daughter. I just don't know I still get these crazy thoughts and dreams that she is still on this earth and the cries still are coming sometime during each day and the pain in my heart is consistant. I love and Miss you Jessica my darling daughter !!!
tammy. i am at 5 months on the loss of my precious son, my only child. all i hear from everyone is to "move on" it makes me sick to hear that. of course they are people who have NOT lost a child, so they cannot under any condition know the awful pain and struggle, you just dont "get over it" especially when its a drug overdose. what a waste..right?
peace be with you and your family.
hi tammy, just wanted to see how you are doing??? we just have to take one day at a time, and just take tiny steps..i am so sorry your son doesn't want to celebrate his birthday, but i understand it...he is grieving like everyone. i think it helps having a grandchild around. i get to see my grandson quite often, and all i want to do is hug him which he thinks grandma is crazy...please take care of yourself, and know you are loved by your family, and god is taking care of your daughter until you see her again some day.i know robby is with god, and i will be with him again...keep talking to us here on legacy because we all care about you, and your family...tammy E
Hi Tammy,I know the feeling of standing at my daughter's bedside with her on life support it as a blood vessel burst in her head and for three days she lay with us thinking that every twitch was a sign of her possibly coming too.It was the hardest thing for us to say turn it off.We only did so after they had done evey test too make sure that she was gone. She was brain dead and they informed us that if she did come out of it she would be a vegtable so that made our heart even more sick ,so we watched as they did test after test only to find that her brain was covered with blood, but with ever seemingly move she made we had hope,but finally we had to shut it down as her blood gas did not rise to the level to shock he body to wake up so that was a terible time in my life and I'm a father who has the utmost love for my daughter as she & I were very close,she was 23 yrs.old when she left this world and my life stopped inso much as I forgot when she left as I was still in the same day on April 10th of 2006 and I still live as though she's right by my side as I hear her voice all the time.So live on and love on and God will see you through.
tAMMY, MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU. I AM TRULY SORRY FOR YOU LOSS...MY SON ROBBY PASSED AWAY ON AUGUST 19TH, 2009 FROM A REACTION TO THE DRUG METHADONE, IT IS A HOORIBLE DRUG THAT HAS COST MANY PEOPLE THEIR LIVES NATIONWIDE...I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN, AND MY HEART IS TOTALLY BROKEN...TAMMY, IT WILL ALWAYS HURT, AND THE PAIN WILL NEVER GO AWAY, BUT WE HAVE TO BELIEVE OUR CHILDREN ARE WITH GOD, HE LOVES THEM...I HAVE NEVER BEEN A VERY RELIGIOUS PERSON ALTHOUGH I AM A BELIEVER, AND I KNOW IN MY HEART MY SON IS IN HEAVEN, AND I WILL BE WITH HIM AGAIN SOMEDAY.. NOBODY KNOWS WHY THESE THINGS HAPPEN, AND A PARENT SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS HEART WRENCHING PAIN FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES, BUT WE WILL HAVE TO...I HOPE THAT YOU CONTINUE TO TALK TO US ON LEGACY BECAUSE WE TRULY CARE FOR YOU AND UNDERSTAND HOW YOU ARE FEELING...TALKING SOMETIMES MAKES THE PAIN EASE UP EVEN FOR A SHORT TIME...TAKE CARE, AND GOD BLESS YOU. TAMMY E