Teresa, I am so sorry for your loss but you have come to a good place. You ARE NORMAL. You are grieving. As you will see within this site we are ALL grieving, and all in different stages of grief. I am now in my 8th month and I hate every day of it but I am here. In my first few months I confined myself to the house and did not venture from our bed. If it were not for my dogs getting me up at intervals I probably would not have gotten out of bed. I knew I had a problem that needed to be corrected immediately if I were to heal so I now attend to 2 grief groups. The one group is continuos and the other is presented as a 12 step program and both are free. I am suggesting you check the internet in your area for a grief group for you to attend.
There is no other grief like the loss of a spouse. I have lost the feeling of being whole. My husband was my sole mate, my best friend and at times my enemy but we loved each other and said those words every day to each other. He was my everything but he also taught me to be independent and strong.
Teresa you are normal! Grieving is a 3 step process 1 step forward and 2 steps back but we get there in a baby step manner. Sometimes you will hear, see, find and smell things that will trigger your memories. But I truly believe that is the way my husband communicates with me. So now when I hear our songs or find something I smile and say I love you too. Come here often we do send cyber hugs! Hugs, Jane P.