Jonathan Was born as Jonathan Teague Kuta after my father last name he was name jonathan since at the age of only 13 weeks he tried to come early and the doctors said they could not save him but he fought and stayed inside me until he was 9 months. Jonathan in the bible is a gift from God. Which he was such a gift my husband and i both married and had children from other people but we had full custody of all the childreh and jonathan was a honeymoon child, we treasured him from the day he was born and he was spoilt from his father to his brothre and 2 sisters but especially me he was my baby and he knew it, He was always getting by with so much more than all the other children did all their lives together. His favorite saying was i'll do it tomorrow god how I wish i let him to it that friday he was going to go get firewood for his dads party the next week that he burnt down by accident he just wanted to go with his friends but I told him no he need to take responsibity and take the truck and get the firewood and then he could go to his friends house.He just got his first girlfriend that day he was always the brother type and had his first date that night he was 1/2 block from the house when the crash took place no one knows what happened he wsn't in a hurry and was so happy he died on impact we had to watch our dead sons body in the truck for almost 2 hours before they cut him out just praying he would move a finger and give some hope but there never was a sign . I don't know how to even breath anymore I lost my father 5 months ago but that was God being meriful he was 87 blind and deaf and beged to go home for years but why a 17 year old boy just getting ready to graduate from highschool and going to college i just don't understand that
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Terri - I am new to this site. I read your son's story and was deeply moved. I too lost my 22 year old daughter in a tragic car accident. She was out partying, she was over the legal limit, the roads were icey, she lost control and hit a pole. She died instantly as well. No parent should get that knock on the door we did at 5 a.m. and see 3 police officers standing there (one being a Chaplain)...it was then I knew. Our children's deaths are so senseless and I just wanted to give you ((hugs)) and let you know that I know just how you feel. Peace to you...
Terri, I just read what you said about holding your son's clothes. Bernie's are still in my room, and I just can't move them, two flannel work jackets that he wore in hospital when I took him out for a smoke. Yesterday was a rough day. Friends were supposed to take me for a process this morning, and when I found out it was right opposite the Hospice where he died, I postponed the whole thing. I miss him.
Terri I inadvertently included you in my new Fb group Postvention Is Prevention, not remembering right off that you had not lost Jonathan due to a suicide. Feel free to remain a member (or not) - whatever you prefer. Hugs, Theresa
sorry I have not kept in touch. My other daughter is sick, I had to break down my facebook, I stayed on farmville all day and night for two years. Now I get to think all day. when I have my good days I try to go on the boat or the rv can not go to far do to my health. My daughter and three kids are coming on are b day hers is the 18 mine is the 19th that will be nice,, I can not seem to get out of bed I stuck in a rut,, but I will pull myself out.
I read your kids wont come around you I am sorry my only daughter live 1600 miles away she has cancer :( the docs froze it hopefully that worked or she will have to have her female organs removed that is ok she has three kids. just as long I don not have to loose my last child. I can not even mention samantha name to shannon or she will hang up on me last time she came down here she left with her husband and they went to his family but I kept the older kids. she will not talk about her she does not want me to cry in front of her it is hard because i was a single mother and when one was there there was the other one I sorry I am not helping I miss sam,,, this is why I do not come on this site I love talking to you,, it was better on facebook many hugs Melissa,,, may are angel rest in peace
Terri, you are in my prayers... I know this is a very difficult time for you as it is for me. God bless you and keep you close...so that you may feel the comfort only he can provide... Shannon
Terri, you are in my prayers... I know this is a very difficult time for you as it is for me. God bless you and keep you close...so that you may feel the comfort only he can provide... Shannon
Dear Terri, I just read your entry that you were in hospital due to your terrible loss. While here just now I looked up and saw/read your profile information about Jonathan. What a horrible tragedy for you. I am so very very sorry. I will ask God to put extra supports in place around you during your most vulnerable times. My faith was fairly shattered when my boy died by suicide earlier this year, but I still pray, so I guess that means I still believe He hears and answers prayer. Still don't have all the answers or understanding about God's will and his provision in our lives, since He didn't deliver our children, but people tell me there are greater purposes at work, so maybe there is. I will keep trying to believe, and continue to pray for God's interventions and providence. And especially for you, today. Sincerely, Theresa
Hi Terri, Just wanted to say that I am exactly where you are and it will be 2 yrs. 4 mo. on Oct. 8th since we lost our son Todd to pneumonia and acute respiratory distress syndrome. I still ask, "how does a perfectly healthy young man go from having a bad cough & cold and going to see his doctor, not once, but twice"...how does he go from that to heart, lung, kidney and respiratory failure in 10 days? If you are no longer thinking of taking your own life to be with your son, it sounds as though you are improving, even a little. I still think about it all the time. My fear is that I wouldn't be able to find him. Like you, I was very close to my son too. He had been out of work for some time prior to 2009 and I wasn't working at the time, so we spent lots of time together during the day because most of his friends were working. I'm thankful I had this time with him, but miss him so so much. Do you ever wonder how much pain a person can take? I do. After reading your note, I think I should look for another grief therapist. The first one we saw was excellent, but could only see us for one year because she works at the Center for Grief and Healing, a local hospice, and there are too many others waiting to see her.
Thank you for posting. It's very helpful and I don't know what I would do without everyone on this website.
Hoping you're having a peaceful day.
Hugs,
Janet
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