My Jack passed away 14 months ago and I still go over our memeories as if they were yesterday. He was my everything. Have you read Facing your Giants by Max Lacodo. It has been a wonderful help but I still remember thoes last few moments in the hospital. He wasn't sick until that last day. I am trying so hard to remember be happy it happened not sad its over but that is diffucult. I didn't find Jack until I was 58 years old and he was 60. Friends drift away I think because they don't know how to help or say. They don't want to think about losing their spouse. God help us all. Now I am alone again.