Hi. My name is Trish. I am new to this site. I am 47-yrs old, I am from and currently live in Plant City FL. I am the oldest of 6-children. My mother passed away 87-days ago on Thurs, Aug. 6, 2009, she was 62-yrs old. My mother was my world! Although there is an autopsy pending (it takes a min of 90-days for completion), we have no idea what caused her to go! She and I had been together all day. We had a wonderful girls day out, we did lunch etc. The day was as great as any one of a million days before! Four hours after I last saw her, she has gone. She sat down in her recliner to watch Wheel of Fortune and never got up. Ever since that evening I have not been able to focus on anything, absolutely everything reminds me of her. Ever since her funeral I can't eat, sleep, or even go out of my house. I long for her so much that all I can think about is being with her. I cry and scream out calling for her everyday. My heart is breaking, I feel like I have a lump in my throat that is choking me to death, tightness in my chest, and the void inside of me is so large it is as if someone threw a bowling bowl straight through me. She and I live only 1-block apart. We talked and/or saw each other everyday. We took trips together several times a year. She always told everybody that I was her right hand and best friend, (and she was mine). As far back as I can remember I always told people that if something ever happened to my mother they would have to bury me at. I just don't know if I can go on without her. It has been 87-days since I last her and it is as if it was just yesterday. Does the pain ever get any better? Does the ability to cope with the loss ever get any better? How do I go on? Although my head reminds me that the reality is that she is gone, my heart won't let me accept it. It is as if she is just out of town for a little while on a vacation or visiting a friend and she will be back soon. I just can't figure out why she hasn't called me to check in. She knows I worry! I just wish I knew of something - anything that could give me a little relief from this pain, if only for a few hours. God knows I am certainly open for suggestions! If anyone of you have found anything that helps you (even the smallest amount), please let me know. I feel like I have aged 20-years in the past 87-days. I just know I can not keep hurting this way! There just has to be something to give some relief. Please help if you can! God Bless and Help Us All!