Loss my mom and best friend
I lost my mom on May 8 2013 but it feels like yesterday. She was 79 years old and died of a massive heart attack. I am in the medical field and constantly blame myself for her death. She was feeling ill five days before her death. She had very bad arthritis and high blood pressure and cholesterol. She was sweeping her apartment and moving some things and said she felt sick. She told me she had chest and back pain and that she had eaten greasy food and felt nausea. She had no shortness of breath. Then she vomited and I thought she had indigestion. She initially wanted to go to hospital but I think she was afraid and later we decided to wait. The next few days she seemed okay and didn't really complain of any symptoms but said she felt tired. If I would've taken her to the hospital, she might be alive today! How can I ever forgive myself for taking a chance and not taking my mom to the hospital. I feel like a selfish, foolish person for not having common sense and many days I wish I were dead but I have a 7year old daughter that I need to take care of. It is because of her that I try to go on. My mom lived with me and we were so close. I am lost without her and the guilt of not taking her to the hospital burns in my heart everyday. I am trying hard to go on without her but life seems so empty. Death is the worst pain one can endure!