Thank you deborah, I do really appreciate it. Hugs to you.Hugs are good.

Thank you Debbie for you comment. I did send you an e-mail.

I wish there was something I could say or do to make us all feel better, but there isn't. I wake up everyday (sometimes I wish I didn't) and feel like I just exist. I am not living. I don't know how to live anymore. There is such an emptyness inside me. I felt the same way about dieing. I was too scared I wouldn't be with my husband for all eternity and I could never take that chance. I do believe in God and even though I am not very religious person I have been reading the bible and I must say it does help a little. Also knowing I can talk to people on this site and they truley understand what I am going through and how I feel gets me through the day.

Thank you deborah for the hugs. Hugs are good

Hello
I lost my husband unexpectedly on June 1, 2010 from a
cerebral hemorage.
When you said (on another post): that I thought about ending it all in the first few weeks of grief,but I didnt feel that i had any guarantees tht we would be together for eternity--
I almost flipped ! Because that is EXACTLY how I feel !
All I do is cry and nobody really understands......

Debbie, LOL. You bet hugs are good. Thank you for your kind thoughts and giving encouragement. That, among all the rest of those things we now must find again. I have always been the pessimist. Without LouAnn here with me, I pretty much suck alone, bigtime. I have no one to impress, lol, ya know what I mean ? I wish the very best for you on your "new journey" and we are all here to help and understand and share. No matter, the good and the bad. Hugs to you. Hugs are good.

Debbie, LOL. You bet hugs are good. Thank you for your kind thoughts and giving encouragement. That, among all the rest of those things we now must find again. I have always been the pessimist. Without LouAnn here with me, I pretty much suck alone, bigtime. I have no one to impress, lol, ya know what I mean ? I wish the very best for you on your "new journey" and we are all here to help and understand and share. No matter, the good and the bad. Hugs to you. Hugs are good.

Deborah,
You have been very kind and I appreciate that. You are right. My sons, and their families, have been a great blessing! The first couple of months I called them many times, in the middle of the night, in tears! They were great! My oldest son especially always seemed to know exactly what to say to calm me. I am so glad we will all be together this weekend!
I have the cleaning down to just vacuuming. I am going to do that yet tonight. Then, DONE!! I'll be ready and waiting for the grandkids! I cannot wait to see them! Their parents too of course! They always tell me they are just an accessory! The kids are the main draw! LOL
I know doing the ashes is going to be difficult, but I have "talked" to Don about it and that has made this not quite so bad.
I hope you are doing well. I do think of you often, also. I talk to a lot of people, but I feel the people on here are the only ones that truly understand. Thank you for being there.
Leia

Deborah diggs, we accept typos. Actually we can read them LOL. No big deal. Your message about knocked me off of my chair. You have a great way with words and expressing yourself. I am proud of my "kissing" photo. My kids,everyone, can see our love. She was my pal. I loved posting "the cousin" story and sharing it. It seemed like the "right" thing to do. I do not believe for a minute that my life can go on. No one to hold, hold me,talk with and be around and to relate with. I have been put out to pasture for good. And that sucks, bigtime. Everything that is me is gone forever.All of my skills and experience and talents, will never see the light of day. I will send you an e-mail. My addy is randymanny77@embarqmail.com. A long one, huh? I wish the very best to you and I am sorry for your loss and the "new life" we are all in.Hugs to you.Hugs are good.