"So this is a question for everyone, do any of you have dreams that your deceased spouse is leaving you in real life? I keep dreaming that my hubby is leaving me and doesnt want me anymore, it always ends with me begging him to stay, I wake up so sad…"
"Steve, am so sorry to hear about your surgeries but very glad you are now in a good place health wise. I was surprised to hear you are moving back but it sounds like you are seeking that comfort and thats not a bad thing, I too have been seeking…"
"Mary Jane, so happy for you that you finally feel Bob with you, that must of been hard not feeling him. I see the news about the fires and pray for everyones safety, cant believe they didnt arrest the ones with fireworks. I have started back to…"
"So nice to see everyones post on here, glad everyone is well, Marsha I am so sry you dont have the help you need, I am truly blessed.. Yes 10 years is a long time but its not at the same time, the hurt doesnt go away,my 1st husband has been gone for…"
"I look on here often to see if anyone post anymore, its so quiet so thats either a good thing or bad. I depended so much on all of you when Greg first passed away and you were all so supportive. Its been 4 years this past May and I cant believe that…"
"A friend and coworker of mine just passed away from covid, she leaves behind a 19, 18, and 8 year old with nor parents as her husband passed away when the baby was 6 months old. such a terrible story and it did indeed make me realize we all have a…"
"Certainly a wide controversy on do or don't the vaccine, all of my siblings have had at least the first one, my brother had both, he was in bed all weekend but still considers it worth it, my daughter who is a nurse says not to get it yet, too…"
"Thank you for your thoughts. I didn't end up getting the shot. my gut just tells me not to, why I don't know, I guess I am just scared of the unknown. I feel guilty Steve because there are so many that are waiting and here I am 65…"
"Im supposed to get the first shot this morning but am petrified, my brother got his but I am definitely in the wait and see group. I just need my life back to normal so I signed up for today but the closer I get the more excuses I keep making for…"
"what is everyone doing for Valentines day? I am working in my craft room, my favorite thig to do and just pretending its any other day. My daughter asked me to go to dinner but with this covid thing I don't like to eat out, maybe delivery would…"
"The 30th of January always seams like the day life as I knew it changed forever, its the day Greg had a massive stroke and although he survived he was not the same and though I got 4 more months with him before he passed from swallowing problems and…"
"Ilove this Chuck, such a beautiful memory, I think we all have had past relationships that for one reason or another didn't work and you still wonder what if. I love the way you describe your feelings and the intensity of it and know you…"
"Sarah, so sorry that you are going thru the anniversary date, its so hard, my sis just passed the 1 year mark with her husband, its just so overwhelming sometimes to think that time just keeps going on when the whole world should be feeling our loss…"
I identify with u i had two fiances that passed away in my life & I cant compare & wont because my first fiancé I knew was sick with COPD vet bad & he was very open about his death and he died in my arms in the hosp and I knew how he died plus he we were exactly like someone married we shared everything but morein the yrs i knew him and was with him more married than my marriage the only reason we we not married by the time of his death, his divorce had not gone thru yet & his wife was giving him a hard time but atleast i knew a love that i had and now 15 yrs later can finally say I was a very lucky woman to have known, felt, such love my fiancé that just passed away in Aug, 2017 died without me there. i still to this day do not know how he died (i was having surgery 300 miles away) & b4 I left he made it pretty clear he wanted me to leave after my surgery and came back The shock I felt when he died, the not knowing how and all the assuming (he had a bad heart & was supposed to get a pacemaker) one minute he would tell me how much he loved me and so many times he kept saying I want to marry u and even plan the date and were we would spend our honeymoon it was even as close as a month before his death. I do know this I loved both of them equally as much, and with my fiancé Frank, his death has me so confused, and wondering know if he ever loved me at all. Now after his death I see so many things he did for me that I never saw when he was alive but I don’t know if i’m just not dealing with all the hurtful things he said and did to me too. i don’t even at this point consider myself as his fiancé before he died i don’t know what he was now. We lived together for 2 yrs and the last time he proposed marriage i said let’s just do it, i knew in my gut something was going to happen i thought to me not him he was such a strong person and we are both not kids waiting im 67 soon to be 68 in April 3, and he was 65 going to be 66 on April 2nd two Aries oh boy we were supposed to get married in 2017 in April 3 but because of my surgery and him not wanting me anymore blaming me for his heart attack he had 3 wks before my surgery he was so angry at me and that i still don’t know why but now all i want to do is let him go, I’m getting so tired of grieving for him, I now still don’t have my apt anymore lost almost everything and I am not blaming him because I was the fool who loved him so much, and still do, but why?? It’s obvious to me he was either lying to me about loving me ever or I can’t even fathom and am still in shock but just want him out of my mind and get on with whatever life is left and have some joy because between both of my fiances there was such a major difference I think that with Frank I thought he would be like Al (my first fiancé) and show me all the love he had or had too much expectations but the nit knowing atleast how Frank died no one will tell me in his family I am trying for months to get his Death Certificate but i’m in nyc and was living in nys and it seems almost impossible to get one from the county up there that their laws are so different up there and searching and searching on the internet for something but they all want money and don’t promise results. I’m just getting very tired of all the researching when i should be grieving and moving on, i might never know, i’ve even thgt maybe it was suicide the last phone call i received from him the day before he died sounded very sick (i can’t share it now) but with his heart history i can only assume it was his heart and only know he died in the hospital. I even called the county coroner who shared with me he only investigates things like murders or deaths that r under investigations but did tell me if he died in the hosp that means they didn’t find him home dead or he didn’t die in the ambulance he passed away in the hospital and was there for over 24 hrs that’s all he could tell me legally. i still have so much guilt , I get angry at myself for loving.