Ellen - i could have written that myself. word for word. that could have been me.

who, of any of us, would think we would be on a bereavement website a few weeks or months ago.

at this time, jim should have been home, getting physical therapy and moving on to a new great phase of his life. he is not, obviously, or i would not be here replying to you. none of us belong here. and none of them belong where they are. what i keep asking myself is why was he ripped from us, and why couldnt he finish up his business (he had a lot of good, personal business to finish). why was he not allowed to be here more than 49 short years. and why were me and the kids allowed only 2-1/2 with him. they, who are teenagers and both have said that he was the only dad they ever had, why was he taken from them.

i swore to myself that i would never ask the unanswerable question, why. but i find myself doing so every day.

thanx for listening.

and thanks for sharing.

Hi Ellen, I lost my husband July 2008 and the ame as you (I am an avid reader), I could not concentrate long enough to read a paragraph, I could not watch tv, although it was on I could not pay attention. I cried all the time. As you my husband took care of everything around the house and very often helped me cook etc. We did everything together. I know how hard it is. It gets a little better as time goes by, but nothing can close the hole in your heart. Hang in there, I will pray for you.

We had a memorial service too, and one thing that I do that really seems to help is buy a balloon on special occations or just because and send it up to him in the back yard, probably sounds stupid but at this point I figure whatever gets me through the day..

That's odd cause Carl promisesd me the same thing and he felt so bad leaving but he was creamated and he is here with me so in all reality i guess you could say he kept his promise, that is how i look at it anyway and if i didn't have him here, oh i don't know but I don't drive and I would never get to go visit at a grave so here we are and I talk to him and this may sound weird but I feel his presence all around me

Oh Ellen I feel so bad for you and it will get easier but I too cry often and there isn't a minute of a day that goes by where I don't think of Carl, I miss him so very much sometimes it really hurts physically. I made him a promise though that I will keep and that is to be strong and I have really been trying but there are those times, well you know....

oh ellen i am sorry for your losses. I too lost my husband in april of 09 and it is very difficult to get up every day without him here. And you can take alot this was my third husband to die, I thought for a long time it was me and I was a jinx but then I have to remember that god doesn't give us anymore then we can handle but sometimes you want to say come on here now, enough is enough but from strenghth that i don't even know where it comes from we get through it and so will you, bless you...

talk to your congressman ours is mike macintyre,make sure you have his dd214,i would keep fighting them they know they did wrong.the v.a. will do everything in their power to keep us from getting to the truth.i also tried to hire a lawyer and nobody will touch my case.so i am going after them myself,even if i have to go to d.c.myself.my voice will be heard,in my heart i know what they did to him and it is not right.he is gone but i am not going to let them win when they know i have the pictures of the ulcer on his left foot.god bless you and i am so sorry for your loss.it has been 4 years and it feels like he was taken from me yesterday.holidays really hurt too!!