Francine, I just started a new suicide loss recovery group http://connect.legacy.com/group/loss-of-a-child-from-suicide and wanted to forward an invitation to you.  I am not very good at starting groups...You are actually my first invite!  I think that losing a child, and losing him or her by suicide, compounds our loss and complicates our grief.  Only those who have lost one's child to a suicide death can fully identify with the unique challenges of recovery we as parents face.

Hi Francine, I should have figured that was your daughter, shame on me!!! She also looks like a very beautiful and wonderful child. How can they not be?!  Was she an organ donor? I forgot to ask. We made that decision for her, but it may have been that she was in ICU for 5 days with no injuries to the organs used. I just had fbook contact with a girl who has a kidney from her. She just turned 21 in June and its still hard for me to accept that also. One life lost another saved. I dont know how to act but do know somewhere in me I should be happy for that mother. We also do fbook. They want to meet me, but I am not ready. Only those in this boat would understand. I would make them feel terrible, or that is what I think.

I am so sorry we had to meet this way, but again, know we are here for you. I agree they are watching down on us and see those left trying to honor them on their birthdays and vice versa.

I post notes to Amy on MY PAGE here. Also on FBook. We also have a legacy page that I paid for thru our local newspaper from the obit page. This is one of my ways to keep in touch with her. Mostly just my family post now. Her friends have slacked off. They have moved on. It sucks. Sorry, I dont mean to get you down, just live one day at a time. thats all we can do.

hugs

Francine, I do know what you mean by being in the same boat. I think I cry more now than that first year. The second we are just coming out of some kind of trance or numbness. I still think she is going to call like she used to, or walk down the hall and make all kinds of noises like when done with her shower, drying her hair, brusing her teeth, flushing, lol, and at times leaving the lights on or the curling iron. She was 21, lived with us all her life. Grad high school, college and had a great job. She was supposed to make lots of money, pay off her student loans, move out maybe, get her own car of her own liking, and maybe get married and have kids. This is what they say, when we lose a parent we lose our past, we lose our children, we lose our future.  I know there are some that didnt get that far.

My husband and I used to hold each other daily, at night, etc and just cry, sobbing hard at times. Now we do it seperately. He had to return to work and does long hours. He has a few guys at work that also lost a child. So he had support that way, but most of them didnt talk, they just knew. He is one for keeping things in.

The last few weeks since summer came and the last few holidays, I have or feel I have lost it. I am sorta depressed and just keep hanging on to the chance that she will appear out of nowhere.

That early morning when we had to let go, as hard as it was, like I said, somehow I knew it was the right thing to do. We had talked about Terry Shivo? and how she was in a coma for years and the family fought over her and all that, and she said, She would never want to live like that!!! But we were told she would never walk, talk, or even know who she was. Maybe have to be in a nursing home. I hope she heard all the talk,  I know now after the fact, she would not have lived from seeing her Cscans.  I am at a loss for words of comfort. Hug those gkids. I have one 3 yr old gchild. Is that pic of your daughter?

Francine, I do know what you mean by being in the same boat. I think I cry more now than that first year. The second we are just coming out of some kind of trance or numbness. I still think she is going to call like she used to, or walk down the hall and make all kinds of noises like when done with her shower, drying her hair, brusing her teeth, flushing, lol, and at times leaving the lights on or the curling iron. She was 21, lived with us all her life. Grad high school, college and had a great job. She was supposed to make lots of money, pay off her student loans, move out maybe, get her own car of her own liking, and maybe get married and have kids. This is what they say, when we lose a parent we lose our past, we lose our children, we lose our future.  I know there are some that didnt get that far.

My husband and I used to hold each other daily, at night, etc and just cry, sobbing hard at times. Now we do it seperately. He had to return to work and does long hours. He has a few guys at work that also lost a child. So he had support that way, but most of them didnt talk, they just knew. He is one for keeping things in.

The last few weeks since summer came and the last few holidays, I have or feel I have lost it. I am sorta depressed and just keep hanging on to the chance that she will appear out of nowhere.

That early morning when we had to let go, as hard as it was, like I said, somehow I knew it was the right thing to do. We had talked about Terry Shivo? and how she was in a coma for years and the family fought over her and all that, and she said, She would never want to live like that!!! But we were told she would never walk, talk, or even know who she was. Maybe have to be in a nursing home. I hope she heard all the talk,  I know now after the fact, she would not have lived from seeing her Cscans.  I am at a loss for words of comfort. Hug those gkids. I have one 3 yr old gchild. Is that pic of your daughter?

dear francine.  you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.. love, valerie

dear francine.  you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.. love, valerie

Oh Francine I didn't know the circumstances of your daughters passing.  Why, why do Dr's give out this dangerous drug to anyone?  I can't tell you how many people I have heard had their heart stopped during the night from this drug.  How can they justify giving this to patients?  There has to be less dangerous meds to give comfort for pain.  But it is also very easy to obtain on the outside of the medical profession too.  It just makes me sick to my stomach when I see that word......it caused such a horrible tragedy to our family structure.   We are still trying to recover the best we can.  I have his 3 young teenage  daughters who are looking up to us to learn that they have to go on and enjoy their life in the future.  But every happy event is so sad for me as Donny isn't here enjoying it with all of us.  His oldest daughter is getting engaged on the 4th of July.  She doesn't know her boyfriend is going to propose to her at our home that day.  That also was my sons favorite holiday with all the fireworks....so you will definetly be in my thoughts that day on your daughters "angel birthday".....sorry for your loss Francine.

Susan