"Five days ago, I lost my husband of 48 years. I hope to find a grief support group in Palm Springs in addition to this online group."
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lula, my Mama lived ten days after entering hospice care. I don't know how a 95 year old woman as frail as she was lasted that lone with no water or food. The hospice folks provided heavy sedation so she seemed to be at peace. She passed away on Dec. 15 of 2010 with me on one side and my sister on the other. We stroked her hands and made our peace with her. She wasn't always the perfect mother and we forgave her and we were not always the perfect children and we asked for her forgiveness. We told her it was ok for her to go and that we would be ok. Sometimes, they wait for us to not be present and sometimes they hold out until we at their side. When her time comes she will decide whether she is alone or with you. Get the book, In Lieu of Flowers by Nancy Cobb. It was a great help for me. This is a difficult time for you and it will change you forever. Be there for her and do what you have to do to accept the natural order of losing a parent.
lula, my Mama lived ten days after entering hospice care. I don't know how a 95 year old woman as frail as she was lasted that lone with no water or food. The hospice folks provided heavy sedation so she seemed to be at peace. She passed away on Dec. 15 of 2010 with me on one side and my sister on the other. We stroked her hands and made our peace with her. She wasn't always the perfect mother and we forgave her and we were not always the perfect children and we asked for her forgiveness. We told her it was ok for her to go and that we would be ok. Sometimes, they wait for us to not be present and sometimes they hold out until we at their side. When her time comes she will decide whether she is alone or with you. Get the book, In Lieu of Flowers by Nancy Cobb. It was a great help for me. This is a difficult time for you and it will change you forever. Be there for her and do what you have to do to accept the natural order of losing a parent.
Lula, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. It's the hardest thing you will ever do. Is there a hospice where you are that could take care of your mom? It would be easier for you there and they keep them comfortable so they don't feel the pain. I lost my mom recently too and never would have made it without Hospice. They take care of your mom and you. I worried about all kinds of things when it was my mom. I worried that she was hungry or thirsty or cold or hot but they explained to me that those senses were the first to go so they didn't feel those things. That helped me. I was shocked that I was strong enough to be there and watch my Mom pass but I did it for her. I lost a cousin to cancer a few weeks ago. He worked on friday, went to the doctor monday and died on saturday. I don't know how the doctor missed that. It was all over him. You're in my heart and in my prayers. Stay Strong.
Again I am so sorry for your losses.
~Bonnie