Hi Shannon,

Oh dear, I am so sorry for the loss of your husband Phil. He passed away so young in such a terrible accident. I jus lost my beloved husband too, on October 26, 2009. He died suddenly and unexpected as well. I even not had a chance to say 'I love you' OR 'Goodbye'. Shannon, it must be very hard time for you and your kids right now. Specially for your daughter who has heart condition. I have daughter as well just one, and as a mother we need to find strength for them, they need us more than ever. We have to be mother and father at the same time. It is very hard on us. Also we have to deal with all responsibilities which is over our shoulder now, without the support of our loved husbands. My husband 'John' also was my soulmate, and loved me as never I been loved before. We were always together, sharing our love and lives. We were just made for each other. Like you, and your husband 'Phil'
After the loss, is normal we feel, lost, lonely, isolated, loss of energy and motivation, struggle day by day, cry off and on. Emotions feels like a roller coaster. The hard part is missing our husbands so much, and accept that they are gone. I am glad to hear that you are a strong woman, I am a strong woman too. I fight this terrible pain I have to deal every day, my daughter and faith in God keep me going. My husband was near death 3 or 4 times before, and he always bounced back and survived. The last time he fighted back was last July, 2009. He almost died from 'Sepsis' but he spent almost two months in the hospital and did back home just fine. I was so thankful for God, and always for what I had, and have. How he died so sudently???? after survive that? I don't know Shannon, maybe just to say Goodbye for me and daughter.Each one of us born with a mission in this world to acomplish, when we finish it is time to die and back to our Dear God. Life is a journey in this world. Each one of us will die one day, when our mission is over. Only our physical body dies, not our spirit. It will survive and live in the spiritual world another form of life, many people call 'heaven'. Your husband was lately reading a bible maybe because he had premonition of his own death. Some people feel it before they pass away. My deeply condolences to you, and your 4 kids Shannon. Remember your husband 'Phil' still alive is your heart and memories. How your kids are dealing with the loss?
I would like to hear from you. God bless you & kids and give you strength.
Olivia