Dear Shelia, I am so sorry to hear of your recent losses. My sister died in November of 2005 and my mom just died in July. For my sister, although sometimes it feels like a lifetime (of heartbreak), ago, at others it's like yesterday. I don't believe that recovery is an option in these matters. It's more a question of finding ways to deal with it, on a daily, then weekly, then monthly etc basis. I find myself using the AA mantra 'one day at a time' so often; because looking too far ahead is too bleak. A bereavement counselor, who's such a support, has a lovely metaphor. She describes grief as an enormous parcel you're trying to carry around. In the early months it's so heavy and all-consuming, you can barely lift it. Then gradually it becomes more manageable, over the months and years, until it will just about fit in your pocket. It never goes but it becomes a precious object you carry everywhere with you. I found this very reassuring, as one of my biggest fears was that I might not feel my sister's presence after a while, or think about her every day, and continue to feel the love we had and have! I miss her and my mom dreadfully and I hope I always will. I cry often and hope I always will. Do you get irritable when people stress you on 'trivial' matters!!! Please write again if you want to.
my name is Sheila Hart I am the younger sister of Pastor Herbert Hart who was killed in November 2008. The pain and the sense of loss is so overwhelming till sometimes I wonder will the tears every stop. My brother was a wonderful person he was truely a blessing from God. I am so proud to have been his baby sister. There is not a day go by that I don't cry cause I miss his charming smile, and the hugs. We shared so much together we enlisted in the Army at the same time, and was stationed together. We served in the war together just to come home after we were honorably discharge for him to get killed around the corner from our family home. I find it so hard to go home cause I can see whwere he was killed from the family back yard. Will the tears every stop?