Hey there.. I haven't been here in a while either but I know when I come here I can count on u to be there.. u always have been.. ;) I know there was nothing I could have done to help my brother.. these dreams are so real to me.. its like I'm him, standing outside himself watching the murder.. I see in detail, everything he went through.. him running, I feel his fear, pain.. I can feel every bullet that hit I'm.. I can see his motions, the direction he ran... I can hear him pleading for his life!! The only thing I can't see/feel is why!!! Why he was killed.. knowing how but not why is haunting!! I have a sinking feeling in my heart that he's showing me these things for a reason.. it can't be to hurt me.. there has to be something he wants me to know.. something I'm missing!!! I just wish I could figure it out.. its literally making me crazy!!! I dream every night.. its like I dream it in scenes, a fifteenth part each time.. like he's breaking it down for me but I'm just not seeing whatever it is he wants me to see... I never see his killer... although we know who it was.. I've always thought someone else was involved. Either directly or indirectly!! Maybe that's it... I don't know!! I do OK most days.. keep myself busy.. lastnight was a pretty graphic night and today I was sent home sick!! So I'm not having a great day at all!! Your gaining weight? I'm losing weight! I've lost close to 40my pounds since my brothers death... everyone comments on my weight thinking I've been dieting.. I don't tell them any different! I really can't explain why I'm losing it.. I eat... I don't know!! Well friend.. thanks for allowing my to vent! I'm glad ur well and pray we all find peace soon.. as always, Tina

Hey there friend.. thanks for checking up on me.. I'm doing ok.. I too have my days.. I have, unfortunately, been having some difficulty sleeping at night.. been having some pretty restless nights, having dreams .. weird thing is, I don't remember them when I wake up.. just know I had a not so sweet dream... kinda makes me feel... crazy!!! But other than that, I'm doing good.... how have you been?! I try to keep up with this site but only internet access I have is through my cell phone so it gets a little hard to keep up with a lot ay once .... (laziness ) Haha.. well its about 3 am and I reallllly need to try to sleep.. so nice hearing from u.. please keep in touch and I will do the same .. hope u have a great weekend!! Hugs, Tina

Hey there friend.. thanks for checking up on me.. I'm doing ok.. I too have my days.. I have, unfortunately, been having some difficulty sleeping at night.. been having some pretty restless nights, having dreams .. weird thing is, I don't remember them when I wake up.. just know I had a not so sweet dream... kinda makes me feel... crazy!!! But other than that, I'm doing good.... how have you been?! I try to keep up with this site but only internet access I have is through my cell phone so it gets a little hard to keep up with a lot ay once .... (laziness ) Haha.. well its about 3 am and I reallllly need to try to sleep.. so nice hearing from u.. please keep in touch and I will do the same .. hope u have a great weekend!! Hugs, Tina

Hey there friend.. thanks for checking up on me.. I'm doing ok.. I too have my days.. I have, unfortunately, been having some difficulty sleeping at night.. been having some pretty restless nights, having dreams .. weird thing is, I don't remember them when I wake up.. just know I had a not so sweet dream... kinda makes me feel... crazy!!! But other than that, I'm doing good.... how have you been?! I try to keep up with this site but only internet access I have is through my cell phone so it gets a little hard to keep up with a lot ay once .... (laziness ) Haha.. well its about 3 am and I reallllly need to try to sleep.. so nice hearing from u.. please keep in touch and I will do the same .. hope u have a great weekend!! Hugs, Tina

Hey there... I'm still around... I read more than I share, but I am still around... how are u?! I've been going through some rough times but trying to keep my head up... thanks for checking up on me.. keep in touch.. take care, hugs! Tina

Happy thanksgiving... hope all is well!!! Big hug

Hey there... just wanted to say hey and see how ur doing....

Hey.. I I just sent u a really long comment and for some reason it didn't post!! I'm goin to find a computer bc this phone is... making me angry.. ttyl

Wow! That is too young! I am really sorry for ur loss.. my brother was 34 years old, shot 9 times and left on the side if the road like trash... heart breaking!!!