Posted on August 15, 2010 at 5:19pm
Its so funny the last time i made a blog post.. It really came back to haunt me.. Like within 2 months. 2005
So I wonder if this one will as well, I really want to reach out and express myself but I have not had the right place or person to be simple very raw and honest. so I Will, for the sake of the record.. and for my own healing . attempt to be as honest as possible. As i do believe that many of us live in a bit of denial. I know some denial is a protective meconism.. but to grow… Continue
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I lost my love of 9 years to lung cancer. I live in West Palm Beach. I would love to become friends. The only thing that has helped me, is knowing that I am not alone in my pain. The loss is like an enormous huge hole that cannot be filled, and I know what that feels like. I know what it feels like when friends want to "wrap up my grief in a package" tie it up and put it deeply away in some abstract closet. They don't like to see me in discomfort because they are helpless. So they say crazy things like "Everything happens for a reason" or, "There is an upside to this". I want to scream and shake them. They do not understand.They want my pain to go away. They want not to see this process of grief. I am 49 years old. You are 29. These ages are very young (especially you) for losing the love of your life. So, there is no one in my group of friends who understands except 1 who I am not very close to. D. died in November 2010. He was 53 years old and I feel so void. I think that is the word I am looking for, just Empty. Void. Null. And then the waves of crying. I hate that. I hate wandering my house but that is what I do. I need a friend. I hope you will be mine.