For many years, I have had a tin basket with artificial flowers hanging on the brick wall outside our front door.  On many occasions there has been a bird snuggle up in the flowers in the wintertime, which would come flying out and scare you, as you came to the door.  I know I should have removed it long ago, but it was a housewarming gift from my sister in law, so I…

March 7, 2011 my nightmare started.  My son, Tom was found dead by his own hand that morning.  Life has NEVER been the same since.  My heart still grieves, I am still waiting for that regular phone call from him - At times its still not real - that he is GONE.  He left years worth of detailed journals, which totally surprised me.  Many of the stories recorded I knew about, but I never had the details then. He hid his depression, hurts and sorrows with ANGER the past 11 years. We had a good…

Below is a list of things that I am struggling with regarding the loss of my beloved sister Liz:

1.  Guilt.  This is one of my biggies.  I feel guilty that I didn't know that she was hurting so badly...that I never chatted with her on Gmail after I found out her gmail address last November...that I only contacted her once after November...that I survived when I was suicidal and she didn't...and that I wasn't able to use my experience to help her...that I wasn't there when she…

How many of us have heard this on one way,  shape, or form?  Or had some well meaning person tell us HOW we should grieve?  I've been through many deaths of people close to me- my parents, grandparents, brother, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, miscarriages and now the one I don't think,  no the one I KNOW I will never "get over", my first born and only son.

After wondering how anyone could possibly expect any parent, especially a mother to get over losing a child I could come to only…

Just as we are about to move out of National Poetry Month, I want to sneak in an amazing collection of poems that came out last year. The Art of Losing: Poems of Grief and Healing (Bloomsbury, 2011; now in paperback) is the book acclaimed poet Kevin…

When expressing sympathy, isn’t thoughtful enough?

When someone dies, we express our sympathy by writing notes to the bereaved, hoping to provide some comfort. Many of us feel that if we write memorable notes, we’ll somehow make a difference. But all that pressure causes us to struggle, trying to find just the right words for a meaningful message.

If your goal is to write a memorable sympathy note, maybe you’re trying too hard. Think about what…

One of the elements of being able to successfully cope with grief most often involves experiencing a change in perspective. Please consider the following thoughts and pictures to help you on your journey.

 …

Rocky,

I love and miss you so much.  I know you miss us, too.  I hope that you can hear/read my words.

I can't get your infectious laugh out of my mind.  Sometimes it makes me smile but other times, I just cry for you.  I loved how you could laugh at your own jokes.  I can see the tears in your eyes as you laughed so hard, at your own silly…

Last week we prepared for our annual neighborhood yard sale.

As we went through things, we came across many of our sons belongings.  Most we knew we had, but there were a few items we found that we didn't realize were with us.

For me, there is no way I can part with any of his things.

We display his favorite things; music posters, egyptian art, music equipment, etc, in our bedroom. There we can enjoy it and it isn't out in the main house to…

Feeling so depressed today.  Ive always been positive and was working on myself before my brother died. I just count the days i havent talked to him. 73.  My father is also an alcoholic and I am trying to help him as i fear his story will end like my brothers eventaully.  It is so hard some days to want to think life will go and be better. It does go on.  Given my family situation I feel like it is time for me to have someone take care of me. ive been the parent in my family since i was a…

For many of us, our circle of loved ones is not limited to humans. Often, we love our cats, dogs or rabbits as intensely as we do our dearest human companions. Our beloved animals are fast friends, part of the family. When my four-year-old tallies who's in our family, her list always includes 4 girls and 2 boys. That two of the girls use the litter box rather than the potty is…

Well, we went up to set up a memorial scholarship fund in Andy's name for kids at his school.  To have it in his name and be an on going scholarship we have to have $10,000 in the account.  At the moment it has just $500.  Soon it will have $2500.  The foundation will match every $2000. 

So I'm doing it...I am going to solicit pledges for each mile I can ride (keep in mind I have a painful neuro-muscular disease myself) and I'm also going to use the time on the road and the…

It's been a year and a half since Larry left for work, left this world, left all of us he loved & loved him. It's still beyond painful. I haven't seen my stepson in 6 months as of May 1st. Larry's 40th birthday would have been April 15th. I have been surving many tears much like I did in the beginning, but honestly, there are only rare days when I feel as if I am really progressing. I miss him more than anyone outside this grp would ever imagine. He's gone, as I sd my stepson is now…

Hello,

     my name is Tony Sabino, I'm living in Plantation Florida close to my older sister who has just been advised that she has @ 6 months to live...what I'm hoping is that though I may be jumping the gun by sharing my question before her death in this forum....possibly one of you can help me understand and deal with what's happening in my life and my sister's too.

     my problem is that my sister Barbara is not going to share the truth about her condition and the fact…

I lost my only brother to suicide. His name was Brett. We were full siblings, 1 year and 10 months apart. I was the eldest. We both went through some pretty heavy stuff with our father when we were 11 (him) and 13 (I). Brett and I became really close at the end of the teenage years. Through all the years we fought and hated each other, we really bonded when we grew up a bit., especially when I became a mother to my son, Graham. Brett loved being an Uncle and he was such a fabulous one. He…

To be honest when it comes to the grief of losing a child there is no getting over it. It’s a misperception in reality. It is moving through it. Imagine being immersed in a giant bubble. The more you push against it, the more resistant it is to breaking through. The bubble is a part of you – a manifestation of sadness, loss, anger, and questioning faith – at least in my…