May 2011 Blog Posts (74)

Trying to Survive my Mother's Death



I lost my mother on May 5, 2011, barely two weeks ago. She was my best friend, confidante, protector, motivator, etc. The loneliness and the grief is so overwhelming, until it consumes me. I expend all of my energy trying to putting one foot before the other. I feel as if though I can not survive this. I am so lost and I don't what to do or where to to go. I am just lost in this lonely world of grief.

Can someone tell me how doI live without my…


Added by Sherry Crockett on May 21, 2011 at 12:37pm — No Comments

No Missed Turns

While I spent three years in Muncie, Ind., attending Ball State University, I never drove in the town until the past three days. And for three days, I constantly missed my turns. While I realize I don’t remember much of my last year there (following my sister’s suicide and then the death of my maternal grandmother seven months later), it was baffling to me that I consistently remembered things opposite of how they really are. This included where the bathroom is in the home of “adopted” mom…


Added by Michelle Rusk (Linn-Gust) on May 20, 2011 at 5:00pm — 1 Comment


Start believing in your heart that you’re equipped to live a quality life. When you love yourself and demonstrate that love, your expressions have an impact more than you can imagine. You will help yourself grow. At times you will swing from tender to fiery. You will enrich your life too. You will stand taller and noble. You will be more focus and less hesitant. You will have a cause to live for, to fight for and to die for. You will feel a sense of purpose, of making a different and of…


Added by Carl Mathis on May 20, 2011 at 12:31pm — No Comments

What causes unnecessary worries and anxieties?

I think that this day and age calls for lifestyles that are busy, fast-paced and absolutely hectic. As a result, there seems to be not enough quality time being spent. For example, most people wake up; grab a cup of coffee on your way out the door. You might sit down and have something only it you have children or a spouse, but nine out of ten times so probably don’t finish your breakfast.


You then get on the freeway rushing trying to bet the traffic, it you get traffic then…


Added by Carl Mathis on May 19, 2011 at 6:51am — No Comments

what to think

 I am in just a daze sometimes. Seems like the pain and agony will never end. I just don't understand living again. I sometimes just would like to go into a coma and not deal with the hurt and pain anymore I miss my son and picking up the pieces of what is left of my life is a hugh undertaking. I often ask why and then I see my grandsons and realize life goes on. Weather I want to be in it or not. Something are just to hard to let go of. My grieve counsler told me once that cant isn't an…


Added by Kim on May 18, 2011 at 11:03pm — No Comments

loosing My Dad has been very painful

I lost my father Feb 28th 2011, he passed from Alziehmers and Lung cancer that spread through his body. the last few months of my fathers life made me realize how much I adored him and would never be the same when he passes. He got to the point when he didin't even know me anymore,but i would always make ligh of it and be happy when I was around him. then the day we took him to the hospital because he was not repsonsive to anything,it worried me something had gone wrong, they just said it…


Added by Sharon Beyo on May 17, 2011 at 9:52pm — 2 Comments

Resting Places for Cremation Ashes

Q. My brother-in-law wants to be cremated after he dies and have his ashes shot into space. I laugh when he mentions it, but he’s serious. Do people really do this?


You’d be surprised. The man who invented Pringles potato chips wanted his ashes buried in a Pringles can. Ashes can be scattered in space—or in the great blue yonder from airplanes and balloons—and even in fireworks.


Some people prefer a body of water, as in…


Added by Florence Isaacs on May 16, 2011 at 4:00pm — 6 Comments

Coming Out of the Black Hole

I pulled out the blue spiral notebook where I journaled from 1991 to 1994, my Ball State University years. Tomorrow I will drive the 239 or so miles to Muncie, IN, where I did my undergraduate work in journalism. I haven’t been there in almost ten years, shortly after 9-11, when I lectured as part of the journalism department’s Professional-in-Residence series.


I’m not sure what I was looking for when I opened up the journal but it was much more painful to read than I…


Added by Michelle Rusk (Linn-Gust) on May 16, 2011 at 3:34pm — No Comments

In memory of poppies

Every Memorial Day, I look for red poppies; the crepe paper variety, sold by veterans. I usually find mine outside a grocery store. And I wear it all day.

The poppies evoke such a special time in my life that I usually find a visible place to display them long after the holiday. And when I see one around the house, it brings back vivid memories of my father and the Memorial Days we shared while I was a little girl.

My dad was a veteran of…


Added by Robbie Miller Kaplan on May 16, 2011 at 8:00am — 2 Comments

things are bad

 I read somewhere on here that the 2nd year was the worst but I think it is going to hurt like this in my life. All this pain and agony. I sometimes see myself like Scarlott in Gone with the wind. I'll think about that tomorrow or If I have to lie cheat or steal I will never be hungry again but with my fist in the air. This will not beat me. I will over come all this sadness. I will never hurt like this again. I will not loose my mind. I will fight and death u took one but u will not get me.…


Added by Kim on May 16, 2011 at 12:37am — No Comments

Why ?

I wonder why I keep comming to this site. I try not to but everyday I still come here I don't feel I should have the need to as I'm in a new relationship. We are doing good we are happy together even tho there are some bumps in the road but we are smoothing them out as we go. We are dealing with a pretty big one now and how that will work out is yet to be seen.I truely don't understand the need to come here at first I thought it was to help the new people as I was helped when I came here but it… Continue

Added by Virginia on May 15, 2011 at 8:00am — No Comments


Hello our dear Amy,

Tomorrow, May 15th, a day we will never forget, will be your 24th birthday. It is the 3rd for us without you. We miss you so much. We got you some carnations of different colors and a balloon. The bronze statue is from Corinne and gram that was put there mothers day. The other picture here is of some orbs that showed up as I took a bunch of pics. I so wish we knew for sure if it is you,… Continue

Added by JOYCE MASHER, 4 Amy 5158791808 on May 14, 2011 at 9:45pm — No Comments

First Anniversary of Mom's Death

The first anniversary of my mother's death was on May 2. 


I took the day off of work and let a balloon go off of the pier.  However, it ended up under the dock.  I don't know if it made it to its destination, which I was hoping out to sea.  I don't know what happened.  I had nothing but good intentions, but it didn't turn out that way. 


How does one mark a death anniversary?  I didn't feel much like working because I knew that I could break down any second. …


Added by Ilana on May 14, 2011 at 1:22pm — No Comments

Tossing the 1993 Penny

After dropping off some books at a local bookstore here in Naperville, I had about fifteen minutes with nothing to do before my next errand. I thought I would take a walk and headed over to Riverwalk. At what was once the east end of the Riverwalk, there is a fountain. Earlier that morning on my run I had found a penny and now as I walked by the fountain, I found another one. I knew that this penny belonged in the fountain although I’m not sure if someone missed when throwing it in or if it…


Added by Michelle Rusk (Linn-Gust) on May 14, 2011 at 8:00am — No Comments


The death of my parents controll my life ecspecially my dad. He had lung cancer and i made the decsiion to bring him home for hospice basically feeling like i gave up on his life. I took care of him at home no hospice hosptial. I had to do thngs for him that no daughter should have to do for their father. I can get into that later...they all ptss. I"m on meds been dignoinse with bipolar disorder which makes things worse when it comes to the memories of my dad dieing. anyway lost…


Added by Lori on May 13, 2011 at 11:35pm — No Comments

Challenge vs. Struggle

I grew up swimming in a former limestone quarry. Centennial Beach in my hometown of Naperville, Ill., had been converted from quarry to oversized recreation area in the 1930s (to celebrate the town’s centennial). Just over a mile from my childhood home, it was better than any neighborhood swimming pool because of its large size.


I wasn’t much of a swimmer in my younger years. While I had swimming lessons, I just wasn’t very strong and taking the deep water test…


Added by Michelle Rusk (Linn-Gust) on May 13, 2011 at 4:00pm — 5 Comments

Enuf.....from people who dont understand

The people on this site are great u guys all understand and never take it too far.  But I am starting to get angry and people who have no idea what it feels like to live like this.  The gifts that they bring with her colors or they just keep saying I dont know what to say but here.  It happens when I at work...being at work is supposed to be a few hours away from reality of this situation.  I need a break from wallowing...just laying in my bed hour after hour cuz I dont want to face the day… Continue

Added by Celia Costanzo on May 13, 2011 at 3:57pm — No Comments

Thank you note questions from the funeral

Can anyone please tell me if there is a right or wrong time to get out any thank you notes from the funeral.  For all the flowers and food.  It has been 5 weeks and I just haven't been able to do it yet.  My brother told me that was unacceptable.  Is it okay I am taking my time, until I can emotionaly do this?  Any advice would be great.




Added by Ashlyn Robinson on May 12, 2011 at 3:50am — No Comments

Mothers day

This was the first Mothers Day without my precious mom.  The day was just okay.  We went to dinner then visited her grave.  That was harder then it has been in the past.  All during the day I was really struggling on the inside but trying to hold it together for my daughter.  We went to Walmart that night and by that point it started hitting me hard.  I use to get some items for her and once I saw those I completely broke down.  Once we got home it just got worse.  This may sound weird but,…


Added by Ashlyn Robinson on May 12, 2011 at 3:29am — No Comments


why are they so rude? why dont they ever realize they are hurting your feelings and pushing you away? i dont get it? after so many years jus when i think things r gettin better they jus get worse then they were before? i feel as if we dnt talk it out heart to heart we could end our relationship which i kinda think that is wat we need right about now. talkin to your spouse(men) is like talkin to a wall. your words echo but nuthyn talks back jus a clear silence, ino yu prolli sayin well… Continue

Added by amanda b on May 12, 2011 at 2:34am — No Comments

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