I keep telling myself all is going to be ok and I can keep going but deep inside I can't. I wake up and really don't care if I do or don't. I want to feel safe again. I want to have peace of mind. I just have this nagging feeling I missed something. I didn't pay enough attention. I gave the drs to much freedom. I go over and over the last 7 years and some of it is just a blurr. I can't remember nothing. It is like my mind shut down and I went went through the motions of life. I was frozen…

My angel Micaela Costanzo murdered on March 3, 2011 by a school friend. Fast forward thru the arrest...drama...heartache of two months.  May 3, 2011 Mickie's bday...planning on celebrating her with school mates at the "track" at the high school; just minutes prior to doing that...WHAM!  There is a second person his fiancee arrested in connection with murder.  I must hold it together to do the "party" and then find out whats going on.  The next day media, media, media....before I can even…

I had the dream again where we had my mothers funeral a second time. But the first time her death was mistaken. or something near that. In this dream I had gotten the bad news again. But this time it was at a funeral home. She was being cremated this time. But She was in the back of the room we couldn't see her because of some stupid reason. Oddly This dreams makes me depressed for the day. I have dreams when she is alive but i cant get to her. Something is stopping me from seeing her. But…

For many years, the sign of my sister’s presence was the song “Rodeo” by Garth Brooks. In the last months before her death, she had given a speech in class and had sung part of that song. It’s the only video we have of her.

As long as I listened to country music stations, I usually was assured I would hear the song. Eventually, though, I returned to Top 40. Then, several summers ago as I was driving through Malibu, California, along the ocean on Pacific Coast…

I was struggling with something on Saturday, debating whether or not it should remain in my life. It was one of those times where I couldn’t figure out on my own which way it should go. While I believe that faith is essential for us to trust the unknown journey ahead, I needed reassurance about something. When I went to church that evening, I asked for that help. I wasn’t sure what kind of sign I would get to let me know how to move forward but I asked anyway.

About…

Crystal would have been 11 today, she dies 2006. I cant take this bullshi**. I feel like screaming to god over and over why!!!!!!!

.i have issues with the man upstairs....guess i always will. i just miss ny baby, my best friend sosososoosososososos MUCH!!!!!!!!

Crystal would have been 11 today, she dies 2006. I cant take this bullshi**. I feel like screaming to god over and over why!!!!!!!

.i have issues with the man upstairs....guess i always will. i just miss ny baby, my best friend sosososoosososososos MUCH!!!!!!!!

Hey J....

Well it is the day before Mothers days and I have decided that instead of getting myself into a depression because you are not here I am going to focus on celebrating as a mother myself and keep close to heart that with out you I would not be.....

I went to the store today and felt a twinge of sadness because I looked at all the Mother's Day cards and knew that I would not be purchasing one for you but I know that you know you are in and always will…

Mother’s can’t deny it: motherhood is truly a satisfying role and many women have said that this is the best job in the world. However, many ambitious, working, entrepreneurial mothers do feel disconnected from their dreams, as they are often overshadowed my maternal obligations and duties. When a mother’s life starts to just become all about her family and children, she loses sight of her own passions and dreams.

          Nonetheless, a mom who knows how to follow her dreams and…

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We know this will be a difficult weekend for many. We wish you all a peaceful, relaxing Mother's Day as you remember your loved ones. For those of you who are grieving the loss of your mother or child, here are a few articles and resources that may help:

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As Mother’s Day approaches each year, I begin to hear my mother’s voice. It’s hovering, haunting – cajoling, reminding, prodding. It’s not particularly loving or sweet or nurturing. In fact, it’s pretty direct. Truth be told, it’s constructive criticism – not always welcome but determined to put me on the right path to adulthood.



"Stand up straight,” she would say, echoing what her mother drummed into her. And she absolutely did have me and my sister parading…