Q. My dear cousin has terminal cancer, and it won’t be long now. We grew up together and have remained friends throughout the years. She’s the one who made sure we never lost touch, despite many moves on my part to other parts of the country and even abroad for a few years. I want to start working on a eulogy for her. I know the basics, but are there any special tips you can give me?

The advice is different depending on who is being eulogized and your…

Death is one of the facts of life people are uncomfortable talking about. But there is a growing movement taking hold in the United States – and around the world – encouraging conversation about this once taboo topic often referred to as “the elephant in the room.”

“It makes sense that the concept is taking off in America,” blogged Sally Abrahms for AARP. “These independent-minded, I’m-not-going-to-take-it-lying-down boomers are exploring the last frontier. They’re…

Today June 26, 2013 marks five years since my wife Dawn departed this world. Each year just marks that much longer since I looked into her eyes, or heard her voice in both my ears.

 I've gone through many stages in learning to cope with her loss, one moment that always feels the same was when she actually passed.  I remember her taking  her glasses off for the final time and setting them on her table, seeing her do this I knew it was time.  I held her hand, and surrounded by her…

While I’m a firm believer in the silver lining theory, I don’t think it should apply to someone else’s loss. When our loved one has an accident, disabling illness, cancer, or some other difficult diagnosis, there really is nothing good in it. It’s true that we are glad our loved one is alive but that’s no consolation to us right now if they can’t walk, talk, function, or have to go through debilitating surgery and treatments. And if our loved one has died, we’re left with a gaping…

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Above links, will introduce you to my life. My love past over May 22nd, 2013.

Grief keeps Penetrating my Fantasy that my musician husband is on tour for the summer & will be home by fall. There is no escaping this suffering. The mourning of my…

My mother, Fran, went to be with God on Wednesday, 08 May 2013. I last spoke to her that Monday. She never really went to the doctor, but yet never complained of anything. She was only 65 and very spunky. Her friends were in their mid 30s or early 40s. She went to Las Vegas last year to visit a friend, June. She ate out all of the time. After all, she was single and never remarried after my parents were divorced in early 1990. She said she would never find someone who love her like my father…

With aching heart I now share that the day of Wendy's passing has  come and gone. The end came quickly and mercifully after her release from the hospital. I'm grateful that she lived long enough to have a lucid visit with her mother and sister, and with my mother the following morning. She went to sleep after those visits, and 12 hours later passed away in my arms.

  The support of friends and family has been inspiring.  I'm struggling with a curious problem, though, and have been for…

Fathers Day was the anniversary of, I am told, they buried my father last year.  I am, I suppose, a survivor of that.  Nothing has since been resolved from that date.  The half brother at large has again dropped from availability, the uncle has declined from comment of any kind, there still remains no death notice, no notice of commendation from his service in the Vietnam War, I remain without a hair of his personal possessions from his earthly life whatsoever.  I remain completely on my own…

I'm not a mom. I don't have any first-hand experience with the deep bond a parent feels for their child, or of the wrenching anguish that the death of a child brings. But I don't think I'm alone in understanding how horrific the loss of a child must be. And I can't have been the only reader who sobbed like their heart was breaking while reading Kimberly A. Condon's article "Approaching Death."…

There were many blog posts and essays in the last few weeks on what it’s like to spend Mother’s Day and Father’s Day without either of your parents. Some were poignant, some were sad, and others expressed remorse. The writers shared their pain over relationships they’ll miss and ones that can no longer be mended. I was surprised to realize that I could no longer relate. I no…

My loving wife Wendy is home from the ICU. Hospice care has started for her, and I think the end is now quite near.

She and I were married just 7 weeks ago. She is 45, I am 66. A week after our wedding she began to feel run down. We sought medical attention, and the doctor was so shocked by what he saw that he sent her to the ER.

Incredibly the diagnosis was end stage liver disease. She has been back to the emergency room twice more now for additional blood…

Between my mother’s slow death, at 45, in 1968 and my dad’s sudden passing in 1996, much had changed about how we process those losses and the grief that follows. What hadn’t changed so much was the way deaths were announced in obituaries: death notices were still, for the most part, fairly straightforward without much flourish or fanfare. Not many of the special traits and eccentricities that make us all unique were included in those days.

But with The New York…

Q. I want to arrange for perpetual care for my late husband’s grave, but am not quite sure what’s involved, how to proceed, and how much it will cost. Also, what’s the difference between perpetual care and a permanent maintenance fund? 

Most states require cemeteries regulated by the state to establish a permanent endowed fund for cemetery maintenance. The principal cannot be withdrawn from the fund; but the income derived pays for annual upkeep—services…