Who am I?  How did this happen? This wasn't part of the plan.

I will soon face the 9th month since my husband died as the result of an auto accident. 

I have found that I can face life without him but I don't like it. 

I don't like it that I now have people call me "Miss McCormick". 

I don't like it that I have to face life without him by my side.

I ache to hear his voice, laughter, comforting words, feel his hug, and even hear him clear…

At 37 years old, I never thought I would have to bury my younger sister. I've been through what I thought were difficult times, school, break-ups, job loss, head-on collision, and post-traumatic stress but nothing comes close to the pain I feel in my heart and mind over seeing my sister on machines to keep her alive, in a casket, and lowering a casket with her body into the ground. Above all, the helplessness of seeing my parents and her young son weep in despair.

There was a…

“Your candle burned out long before your legend ever will”

Memories are made of things that happen every day

But new memories of you ended the day you went away

A heart so golden, a wealth of love

I pray they know what they have above               

Cell phones stay silent and daily texts never come

Dreams have ended…

Dearest Doug, I know you are out there soaring with the Angels and at peace and feeling no more pain physically, emotionally, and you don't have to deal with worldly things. God is good. One piece of the puzzle I am so lost and confused about is what happens to me ...you see the day you looked in my eyes and squeezed my hand and suddenly took your last breath, a part of me died too. My death  wasn't  completely whole, it wasn't and never will be peaceful without you...it is full of pain,…

    Dearest Doug, I know you are out there soaring with the Angels and at peace and feeling no more pain physically, emotionally, and you don't have to deal with worldly things. God is good. One piece of the puzzle I am so lost and confused about is what happens to me ...you see the day you looked in my eyes and squeezed my hand and suddenly took your last breath, a part of me died too. My death  wasn't  completely whole, it wasn't and never will be peaceful without you...it is full of pain,…

My younger sister Denise and I often discussed the overuse of the word “love.” We felt that people said it too much because often they didn’t really mean that they loved someone especially when they finished a letter with “Love,” and then their name. Instead, we stuck to “Always,” before our names. At a church retreat during high school, she had to write a letter to someone so she wrote me and told me that she loved me. She said she did it because we never said we loved each other. When she…

Imagine that you are in a small enclosed placed sitting on a cold, hard floor in total darkness. The heat begins to climb as you wonder how you will be able to take a breath. The fear begins to rise from within and all you can think about it how to escape. And you are aware that you have put yourself into this place precisely because it scares you. 



This is the situation I found…

I just want to say to those that have been in mourning for a while that I have been diagnosed with a psychological condition (as well as neuro problems) that essentially disconnects me from the outside world. Sure I have neighborhood friends (one even has a key to my house just in case they don't see me for a while) but other than that my "Mr. Wonderful" (my nick-name at…

My entry into this sad club began with a phone call on 4-12-11 at 2:30 pm. It was the FHP asking me if I knew my daughter had been in an accident. I said no. There was no way they could have been talking about my 20 year old daughter who had gotten up at 5:00 am to be to work at Kohl's by 6:00am. Not my daughter who called me when she got there and called me when she clocked out at 11:15 am. She said she was tired and on her way home. She called me at 11:30 and said her friend Randi had…

Losing a spouse is perhaps one of the most emotionally grueling experiences an adult can go through in their lifetime. The deafening emptiness of your home without your partner, the realization of dependency on your spouse, and the loss of everything that you once shared with – companionship, a friend, a person to turn to for advice -  these are hard pills to swallow. For women, especially mothers, this is an unbelievably difficult change in their lives. Being suddenly left to raise the…

You may already know how difficult it is for a grieving spouse to go to the cemetery after the funeral. But did you know that they might want your company? I didn’t. This was one of the things that surprised me when I recently spoke with bereaved spouses. Here are some other things bereaved spouses want you to know:

 

1. The most helpful thing may be to check in after the funeral, and in the weeks and months ahead. Nothing elaborate is needed; a handwritten note or an email…

i lost my son 4 weeks ago he was fine apart from a dvt that he has been taking warfarin for he has been on warfarin for about 11 years he just went to sleep and never woke up his wife was in the sitting room and fell asleep and my son was in bed  she went in to wake him and he was gone life will never be the same the autopsy should no cause of death but took samples and let the cremation go ahead he was 41 when he died my husband keeps looking for signs i think hes just hopeing i have lost…

Q. A dear cousin of mine is dying of colon cancer and I’m going to visit him. I want to see him, but I’m also nervous about it. I don’t know what I should talk about. What do you suggest? 

A. This situation has become more and more common—and complex—due to medical advances. One issue involves your definition of “dying.” It used to mean days/weeks/a few months to live. Today, the person may have a terminal illness that allows him to function in life (at…

The end of a relationship, whether we are 16 or 60, can be devastating although not always for the same reasons. This morning I sat on the phone with a friend of my husband who is trudging through the breakup of what was a short marriage. It’s easy to think that we messed up and made a big mistake when something we thought would last forever doesn’t. And while I’m not standing in his shoes, what I do know is that he has an opportunity to learn from this relationship and make himself stronger…